Kat Eye Studio

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Redefining My Art

In my newsletter article over the weekend, I wrote about redefining productivity. How I haven’t been feeling productive recently, but that feeling was based on an old definition. I’m not sure where the old definition came from exactly – my old artistic practices combined with external influences, perhaps. It was a reminder that I seem to gather these definitions and rules up as I go along in life. I think we all do. Sometimes we need to reexamine them and redefine them.

What was more important in that article than redefining productivity, I realize today, is the redefinition of my art. I wrote, “My art is using photos and words to explore the connection between heart and the world around us.” Up to now, I haven’t quite figured out where I “fit” in the photography world. If you look at what I practice and write and teach it’s not standard “photography.” It’s something different. Something that doesn’t have a word for it. I’m an artist that combines photos and words together. For me, they can’t be separated.

Realizing that brings freedom. I can remove the labels from who I am, what I do. I can just be me, as I have been, but without trying to figure out where I fit. I don’t fit any standard mold. I can be the seamless blend, like building and sky in this photograph, if I choose. (And no, the photograph was not edited to look this way.)

It can be uncomfortable, though, being without a title. Being without name that defines me, in the eyes of others. It makes it harder to communicate what I do, what I care about. That makes it all the more important to keep using the “words” part of my art. Maybe someday I’ll come up with one word that communicates my art to others. Until then, I’m going to memorize this phrase:

My art is using photos and words to explore the connection between heart and the world around us.

I have a feeling that this moment may be as important as when I claimed myself an artist a couple of years ago. Time will tell.

PS – If you missed it yesterday, I announced a new class coming in April: A Sense of Place. Visit the link here for more details.

PPS – Only THREE DAYS to the next Photo-Heart Connection link up. I can’t wait!

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Putting Myself In The Picture

While I love capturing the world around me, I hate being in front of the camera. Hate it. That’s why it’s with some tredipation and fear that I join in with Urban Muser’s In The Picture project this year, gently exploring self portraiture.

I have noticed I carry a lot of biases about self-portraiture. I could list many reasons that I have kept myself out of the picture in the past. But they are all just a protective facade, designed to keep me safely away from images of myself. What am I trying to avoid?

I guess this year, I’ll find out. One image at a time.

A self-portrait opportunity presented itself to me on Saturday, while at the Portland Art Museum. I was in the Contemporary Art Gallery when I noticed the light. The sun had come out, after a rainy morning, and I loved the interplay between the light and the art. I started to capture this painting, Green One by Pat Steir, when I realized the gallery was empty, and there was plenty of space to work. I set up my camera, grabbed my remote and captured a few frames.

It’s a safe start, I must admit. I’m abstracted, a silhouette. To an outside observer, the image is not about me as much as it is about a person interacting with art, with the light. I could have taken this of anyone.

But it is about me, to me. About my love of art and painting, about being in an environment that allows me to enjoy it. The image becomes more personal, more meaningful.

Maybe that’s the point of self-portraiture? I’m not sure. It’s going to take a while to work through my biases and figure out this whole genre of photography, and how it fits for me. This is the start.

In The Picture

PS – A word about this gorgeous painting! It was so full of texture and subtle color, it is no wonder it caught my eye in the light. You can find out more about Pat Steir and her work here.

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Trust and Belief: The Lessons of a Twitter Hacking

A few days ago, I had my Twitter account hacked. I could have kicked myself, because after the fact I realized that I was a willing participant to the hacking. After living in a world of internet spam, with all of the suspicious emails, tweets and blog comments I see all the time, I finally fell for one. Ouch. A blow to the pride for sure, but it taught me a thing or two about myself. About trust and belief.

So, how did this happen? First, I got a direct message from someone I know. I don’t follow a huge number of people on twitter, and while some of them are big names who don’t know me from the next person, many of them are people I’ve interacted with online or in person. This message came from someone I know, have met in person and exchanged emails with. A friend. So the first step in my downfall was receiving the message from someone I trust. It gave it a credibility it otherwise wouldn’t.

The second, and more insidious piece, is how I believed the message. I’ve never fallen for wiring money to Africa, or making thousands of dollars working from home, or the latest pharmaceutical scam. But this message preyed upon my vulnerability, saying, “You seen what this person is saying about you? {Link} terrible things.” I believed it. I clicked the link, “logged in” to twitter and willingly gave up my password. Why? Because I’ve always had this underlying fear that sometime, somewhere, someone was going to say terrible things about me on the Internet. It has to just be a matter of time, when you put yourself out there publicly like this, right? I realize now this wasn’t just a fear they preyed upon, I carried it around so long it became a belief. I have been sure that it would happen. Steeling myself against the day when it would come. So in my head I said, “Yep, it’s finally happened.” And I clicked the link.

I have to admit the smarts of these hackers, preying on our trust and belief like this. I have to admit chagrin, that I’m not as savvy against hackers as I thought. The hackers only took advantage so far. My own belief helped them the rest of the way.

I apologize if you got the same twitter message from me this week, I hope you saw it for what it was and didn’t click the link. I hate to think that I might have lost the trust of others in this way. But I did learn one important lesson out of all of this. I’ve been carrying around a belief that needs to go. No one has said terrible things about me yet. Maybe someone will someday, maybe they won’t. There is no point in believing it will happen. That just makes me vulnerable, to my own insecurities and hackers alike.

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Art Close to Home

Yay! I have a great art museum nearby! {Insert celebratory dance here.} My visit to the Portland Art Museum on Wednesday was very fun and exciting, mainly for the discovery of a wonderful art museum close to home. After visiting some of the most amazing art museums in Europe, I’ve wondered what I would find when I moved back. Since I wasn’t into art before living in Italy, I hadn’t visited this museum before, despite living only 90 miles away for 11 years. I was pleasantly surprised at the size and scope of the museum. I decided to become a member so I can visit whenever we head to Portland. I already have plans to visit again in a few weeks, as there are several special exhibits going on that I didn’t have time to see on this visit.

One of the current exhibits I did see is Titian’s La Bella. This is quite exciting for the museum to host. I thought it was ironic that after seeing many of Titian’s works in Italy, this is one of the first special exhibits I find at the Portland Art Museum.

I found it a very emotional experience to walk into the European section of the museum to get to the La Bella exhibit, seeing works ranging from Gothic triptychs to Flemish still lifes, so much of what I had seen across Europe. I even wanted to linger at the numerous Madonna col Bambino paintings, just for the nostalgia. Ironic, when I would cruise through whole museums filled with paintings like these, just to get to the one or two painters I especially liked. Now I have an appreciation for these works that goes beyond art history, it’s an emotional appreciation I can’t quite describe in words.

I did get to the photography exhibition I was looking for, Through the Looking Glass: Photography’s use of Windows, Doorways and Mirrors. As a big fan of photographing windows and doors, I was looking forward to seeing this. It was compiled from the museum’s collection of photographs and it did not disappoint. One of my favorites was this work, San Juan (Home Theater) by Oscar Pintor. I would have been in heaven to come across this scene!

I also very much resonated with two Minor White photos, Water Street, Portland and Chinese Laundry. While I’m aware of his work as a groundbreaking American photographer, I don’t think I’ve seen his work in person before. I was struck by my reaction to his images.

There were many other wonderful works in this exhibition, you can view them in the online gallery here. If you are in the area be sure to stop in and see it while it’s on display, through February 28, 2012.

One of the best things about this museum… minus the special exhibitions, you can photograph in the museum. Yay! My enjoyment of an art museum is always enhanced when I can photograph and capture my personal experience with my camera. On this visit, I was drawn to the forms and play of light and shadows of the sculptures. I especially liked the shadows and light in this piece, Artifact Panel by William Morris.

All in all, a great visit and the promise of many more to come.

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A Morning at the Museum

Art on a rainy morning, what could be better? While in Chicago, I had a morning free to visit the Art Institute of Chicago. A wonderful place! The first major art museum I’ve visited since returning back to the US. I enjoyed the opportunity to see some new works of some of the painters I came to appreciate while in Europe, and learn more about American artists as well. The museum allows photos too – a very happy day for me!! My experience of art is always deepened if I can capture it with my camera.

Since I had limited time and I know what periods of art I like, I focused my visit on specific areas. American Modern Art (1900-1950), European Modern Art (1900-1950), and Contemporary Art (1945-1960). I also popped through Contemporary Art (1960 and later), Architecture and Design (special exhibit on Bertrand Goldberg), and Photography (although they were resetting the photography exhibit and most of it wasn’t open – sad!).

As always, I was drawn to abstracts with bright colors. Paintings that highlight gradations and transitions between color in unusual ways attract me. A new find this trip was German painter Franz Marc, I loved this painting called The Bewitched Mill. Very much like my favorite Italian Futurists of a similar time. I am always drawn to the art of 1900-1920 or so.

I just loved his use of color! Isn’t it gorgeous?

It was also fabulous to see more of Georgia O’Keefe’s work in the American section, she has a style that has always appealed to me. I was pleasantly surprised by how large the museum’s Impressionist collection was! It was great to see more of Monet’s water lilies, and Cezanne’s still lifes, among many others. I also very much enjoyed seeing these two paintings by Mary Cassatt. I’ve seen them before in texts but they are beautiful in person. She had such an amazing way of portraying everyday moments.
I left the museum refreshed and inspired. There is something about art, specifically painting, that just speaks to my soul. What a wonderful opportunity to connect with this again!

Emily, this last one is just for you. (Bueller… ? Bueller… ?)

PS – Lightroom 3 Update: I edited all of these in Lightroom this morning! I’ve had absolutely no instruction (books are on their way!) but I’m finding it intuitive to use and in some ways much simpler than Photoshop Elements. I will keep you posted as I progress!

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