I have been struggling with my art. Yes, I’ve been playing and exploring, but struggling too. Learning something new is like that. The delight of new discovery. The wonder of the first, sometimes accidental, success. Then comes realization of intent. And with it the struggle to recreate what was first encountered by serendipitous accident.

For weeks, since creating this piece called “Looking Through,” I’ve been staring at it on my photo display. Trying to figure out what makes it resonate with me so much. How I can create other pieces with a similar feel.

It’s been a struggle. Lots of experimentation and failures. Many successful in their own way, but not the same as Looking Through. Finally, this weekend I created another that’s on the right track. I finally figured out one of the secret ingredients that had been eluding me — the space between.

The next day, as I was getting ready for yoga, I was wondering what I should do with myself. I had two days left in my holiday weekend, and no major plans. No classes to prepare for, since I’ve rescheduled to take the summer off. No big exhibitions to print and frame; I’m all ready for June. Newsletter written. No looming deadlines. My head started racing off onto new projects and new ideas. I started thinking of what I should do next, making plans. I suddenly stopped short, realizing…

What did I clear my schedule for this summer, if not to create space? Space for being, instead of doing. Space to take care of body and soul, instead of mind. Space to explore, and see what happens.

Even as I struggle to bring intentional openness into my art, I struggle to stay here, intentionally open, in my life, too. There must be something I need to learn here, in the space between.