Kat Eye Studio

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Message Received

To put our art, our writing, our photography, our ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation – that’s also vulnerability.
— — Brené Brown in Daring Greatly

I now know why I needed to hear the message from the universe yesterday. Why I started reading Daring Greatly this week. I’m having one hell of a vulnerability attack at the moment.

Let me explain…

This weekend is the Corvallis Fall Festival. After months of planning and preparing, I’ll be putting my art out there in the public eye, for sale, in a completely new way for me. It’s from the safety of a shared booth (4 other photographers along with me) and the safety of being close to home, but as I wrote out the email last night inviting friends and neighbors to visit me in the booth during the festival, I started to feel the fear. I started thinking, Why am I sending this? I don’t want to bother anyone with more emails. Will they even care? What if they don’t like my work? Maybe it’s better not to tell anyone. But I pressed send on the email anyway, despite my fears, because I know that most of these people want to see me succeed and will come by and support me even if it’s with a quick hi in the booth.

As I was reading this morning I realized where this feeling came from. I’m making myself vulnerable, by putting my art out there in a new way. And no matter how much I want and crave connection with people through my art, I also fear it. No amount of planning and preparing can eliminate that visceral response that comes from somewhere deep inside. The place that fears that I am not good enough. The place that fears rejection.

This vulnerability attack is made doubly strong by my trip to England next week. In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been stressing over what to wear for my workshops. I’m realizing now this is just a substitute worry for the bigger fear of putting myself “out there” in such a spectacular way. Want to know how the workshops happened? Earlier this year I said to myself, “I want to go to England and visit my friends! It would be cool to teach a couple of photography workshops at the same time.” And then started working on it. Once again, the planning and the preparing are the easy parts. It’s so, so easy for me to create a plan, a list of things to do, and check them off one by one. It’s a lot harder to deal with the emotions that come along with the actual event. Here I am, travelling by myself, staying with friends I know mostly from online interactions, offering workshops in a foreign country. Vulnerable? You bet.

With every step I take outside of my comfort zone, I open myself up to uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. It just so happens that is exactly Brené Brown’s definition of vulnerability. I get it. I feel it, at my core, right now. Thankfully, these kinds of fears and emotions usually don’t come until I’m already committed, well down the road where it’s too late to turn back, so I keep putting myself out there in new and crazy ways. As I’ve said so many times in my writing here before, each little step you take expands your comfort zone. Whether it’s liberating your art as a postcard or in an art fair, it all takes courage and a willingness to be vulnerable.

I know intellectually that everything will be fine. Regardless of whether or not I sell a lot of my photographs at the festival, regardless of whether or not my workshops are full, I will have a good time. I will learn something in the process. I will grow.

Knowing it will all turn out ok doesn’t eliminate the feelings that exist today, right now, in my gut. But understanding where they are coming from, why being vulnerable has this impact on me, certainly helps. Thanks to the message from the universe yesterday, I was prepared for the panic attack of today. (Sort of. Talk to me about it tomorrow.)

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Looking Ahead

I’ve been looking ahead to this month for a long time. Looking ahead with some excitement, and some trepidation. Excitement because all of the activities on my plate are good things… my brother’s wedding, Fall Festival, heading to England. But trepidation too because they are all bunched up at once with almost no break in between. Of course, that motivated me to get myself together in advance and get ready for all of this, but it meant I didn’t have space to enjoy the excitement of any one thing.

Today the looking ahead stops, and the experiencing begins. Today I need to allow myself the space to just be in the moment. Tonight we head up the airport, flying out early in the morning for my brother’s wedding in Colorado. The wait is over.

I think perhaps my topic of Allowing Space in this month’s Exploring with a Camera is a little reminder from my subconscious to slow down and breathe. Allow space in my photography and extend that to my life. Yes, it’s a bit of a crazy time. But I can make it crazier by dwelling on it and always looking ahead to the next thing rather than experiencing what is in front of me right now.

That changes today. I’m looking at the here and now instead of looking ahead.

A few reminders, since I’ll be away from the blog for a few days…

  • The Exploring with a Camera: Allowing Space link up is open and ready for you to participate. It remains open through 21 September. This is a very calming exploration, I do hope you will join us.

  • The Liberate Your Art blog hop begins tomorrow! The hop will be open from 13 to 16 September. This will be a fun way to meet more participants in the swap and see more of the liberated art. I’ve been so excited to hear about the different connections that have been made through the swap, it will be wonderful to hear more. I have something extra-special to share with you in tomorrow’s blog post too, so be sure to come by and visit during the hop.

  • Registration is open for the October-November Find Your Eye eCourse series. We have a very nice class forming up! You can find all of the registration details here.

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Photo-Heart Connection: August

Behind the scenes he worked. Starting hours before the performance, the guitar tech began getting ready. The performers were nowhere to be seen, but he was there. Gently unpacking and prepping the guitars, his hands steady and sure.

The sun went down and the lights came on. The performers took the stage. Throughout the performance he stood at the ready. Knowing what song came next, what each guitarist needed. Everything flowed. He knows his job and does it well. You can tell, because no one noticed him there on the side of the stage.

There are so many roles like this in our world. So many people behind the scenes, making things work smoothly. They are skilled. They love what they do. They make a difference to those around them.

So today I’m thinking about how we often notice only the headline act. We see the artists on stage, in the spotlight. But they wouldn’t be there, successfully doing what they do, without the backstage artists that make everything work. I’m thinking about the people in my life who are backstage artists for me in different ways. I owe them my notice and my thanks.

My Photo-Heart Connection this month is from da Vinci Days, an annual festival of art, science and technology here in Corvallis. I had the good fortune to be the Main Stage photographer for the headline night of the festival, where I got the backstage view and prime locations to photograph the performance. I am honestly surprised at picking this one as my Photo-Heart Connection. It was a tough month to choose. I had a lot of photos; many with a strong heart connection. At one point, as I was narrowing the field down, I had to stop and go do something else to clear my thoughts and emotions.

In the end, it was the hands that drew me in. As I looked at the guitar tech’s hands, I remembered how this guy did his job, quietly and confidently. He didn’t really talk to anyone that I saw. He was just always there, doing what needed to be done for his band. Such a simple photo of hands, teaching me a bigger lesson. Reminding me to watch for those backstage artists in my life and thank them.

What did you discover in the Photo-Heart Connection this month?


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Let Your Dreams Soar

It’s amazing how much a day makes a difference. Even when we try to repeat the same thing, each day and each moment are different. It never comes out the same. As a photographer, I am constantly reminded of this. The camera captures the differences in light and shadow, in my point of view. Our brains adjust and accommodate and affect our perception, but the camera tells it true.

The second morning of the NW Art & Air Festival was completely different than the first. Where there were clear skies, no wind and sunshine on Saturday, Sunday’s launch was in cloudy skies and slight wind. No morning sun on the balloons, no mass launch. One at a time the balloons filled and drifted off quickly into the cloudy sky. It wasn’t as much fun to photograph and yet…

…here is this image. My heart leapt when I first saw it. I knew some dreamy editing would be perfect. I am so happy with it I find that I can’t edit any more photos this morning. I am done. Satisfied. The words “Let Your Dreams Soar” came to me as I edited it, so that’s the title.

Thank goodness I went back the second day. Thank goodness it was different than the first. The morning that seemed imperfect turned out the best image of all. The camera told it true.

Since I love how this image turned out I created a Lightroom preset called Let Your Dreams Soar and I find I can’t wait for the next newsletter to share it with you! You can download it here. This preset will work in Lightroom 3 or 4. I thought you might like to see the original image for comparison. Quite a bit different, huh?

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It’s time to Find Your Eye

Do you have a unique style?

Yes, you definitely do. You may not recognize it yet, but you have a unique vision of the world which shows up in your photography. We all do.

How do you find it?

You connect with your heart, and tap into your soul. You learn to follow what inspires you and discover the threads that already lie in what you create. When you do this, you begin to discover not only your unique photographic style, but how it represents who you are. You gain confidence. You are empowered to express yourself.

You can find a blueprint for connecting to heart and soul through photography in the Find Your Eye ecourse series. Registration for the fall series of Starting the Journey and Journey of Recognition is open now. You can register here.

From Astoria, Oregon. Lightroom Preset for this image will be available for download in the next Kat Eye News.

It never, ever gets old to teach these courses. It always amazes me how unique we all are. I see this as I join the class participants along the journey as a guide and a witness. I love to hear what has come out of the Find Your Eye process for them. Here’s what some recent participants have said about the Find Your Eye e-courses:

Thank you Kat with all my heart. Your course was inspirational and confidence building. Your attention and beautifully crafted responses to each of our individual contributions was much appreciated. It seems each of us have what is needed to be what ever our heart desires, we just needed a facilitator to draw it out.

It’s difficult to say what my favorite thing was about this course because I loved it ALL. But what inspired me the most was the feedback that was given, both by you, Kat, and by the other participants. Sharing photographs, journaling, then getting and giving feedback made it all connect for me. People were genuine in their remarks, honest and open in their journals, and it felt like friendships were being developed with folks from around the world. Like-minded people, interested in finding beauty and meaning with their eye!

This was one of the most meaningful things I’ve done for myself in a very long time. I looked forward to new lessons, interaction from you and my new friends, and to the soul-searching that you prompted us to do. I thought this might be a more of a technical class, but am glad it wasn’t. I did learn more about my camera because of this class, but more importantly I learned more about myself as an artist.

I felt pushed to express myself in my journal and in my photography. I feel the photo and writing emphasis helped me think about my painting and other art work in way that I hope will transform those areas for me, too.

Won’t you join me for the next journey?

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Organic Growth (+ The Winners)

I’ve been thinking a lot about “organic growth” and no, I’m not talking about growing food here. I mention it a couple of times in an interview I recently recorded to promote my on-location A Sense of Place workshops coming up in England in September and October. In the interview (below), I talk about how I learned photography organically. By that I mean naturally and slowly, growing and evolving over the last twelve years. It wasn’t like I set out one day and decided, “I am going to become a photographer!” and take a course of study at a university. I started by creating a few good photographs. Wondering how I could create them more consistently. Buying a new camera. Taking a class. Practicing a lot. Reading a book or two. Taking another class. Taking more photographs. Writing about my photographs. Falling in love with photography. All this over a period of years.

There were some times of dramatic growth, like when I took an online course called Photography 101 in 2007. It covered the basics I had already learned — aperture, shutter speed, etc. — but for some reason this time it really clicked at a deeper level. Even then, it wasn’t a light switch change. It was an evolution over the 8 week course and beyond. Now I can look back on that as a significant “moment” but it really occurred over months.

I think this is an important thing to remember. Growth does not happen overnight. At least natural, sustainable growth doesn’t. Most of the time, it’s a day-by-day journey of growing by millimeters. It’s the sustained growth over long periods of time that gets us to a new place. Like this fantastic rusty mailbox scene found in Astoria… It didn’t appear overnight. It took years for the mailbox to rust, for the ivy to grow. It took years of someone letting this little spot alone to grow.

That’s what organic growth is. Slow, sustainable growth. This applies to photography or business or even personal growth in life. Sometimes, we look at someone we admire, and we want to be where they are now. We want to be that fantastic photographer. We want to be that successful business owner. We want to have that kind of confidence in ourselves. But we can’t get there by leapfrogging all of the work it takes to get to that place. Sure, we can make it easier on ourselves. We can learn from others how they got there. There is so much wonderful information available. We have books and classes and articles and videos all at our fingertips here on the web. But it still takes our own action. It takes practice, and moving ahead, that little step at a time, to get where we want to go.

I think organic growth is the best kind of growth. At least, I’ve discovered that it is for me. It’s the kind of growth that lets me adapt to my environment. It’s the kind of growth that lets me try something out and change course if I need to. It’s the kind of growth that doesn’t commit me to too much, getting into overwhelm. It’s the kind of growth that integrates what I’m learning into a stable foundation, so that each time I take a step up or out of my normal zone the world doesn’t collapse beneath me.

I tell you all this today so that you can be encouraged. That goal you have? The place you want to go? You can absolutely get there. Just don’t try to do it overnight. Give yourself time to grow.

PS – That lovely voice with the English accent you hear in all of my interviews is my dear friend and PR consultant in England, Fiona Pattison. You probably can’t tell because she edited it so beautifully, but we were laughing like crazy as we recorded this interview, over very silly mistakes. Fiona has definitely been an important part of the organic growth of Kat Eye Studio!

And the giveaway winners are…

Out of 107 entries…
#28 Marji of Sun Breaks in the Forecast
#89 Nadine

I’m so excited to liberate these postcards to the lucky winners! Thanks to all of you who entered. I was surprised about all of the nice things you said to me as you entered, that was an unexpected bonus. Thank you for your lovely comments and your ongoing support! More giveaways are definitely to come. Giving things away is so much fun! 🙂