Kat Eye Studio

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Focus on Strengths

If you choose to focus your attention on the strengths of others, on the virtues of others, on that part of others that strives for the highest, you run through your system the higher frequency currents of appreciation, acceptance and love.
— Gary Zukav in The Seat of the Soul

There it is again, the concept of focusing on the good. It popped up in my morning reading today, this time around seeing the good in others.

When we focus on what we perceive as faults, annoyances and shortcomings in others, that becomes all we see. It shapes our interactions. It sets up expectations. We look for the fulfillment of those expectations. Our perception of a person spirals down, down, down. One thing leads to another until our “reality” of that person is negative.

But look at it from the opposite perspective. If we focus on the strengths of others, we see things in a different light. We can look for things a person does well and that we appreciate. We can stop assuming motivations for actions. We can realize we don’t know another’s mind or intentions. Our “reality” of that person changes, because “reality” is subjective.

All it takes is a slight shift to one side.

Zukav goes on to say, “As you come to seek and see the virtues and strengths and nobilities of others, you begin to seek and see them in yourself also.”

Interesting concept, huh? We can’t forgive ourselves and sit in judgment of others at the same time. We can’t see the bad in others and expect to see the good in ourselves.

Don’t we all want to see ourselves in a good way? To see ourselves loving, caring and forgiving beings that want to move forward and grow? So many of us struggle to create a positive self-image. We see our faults and weaknesses and not our strengths.

Maybe we need to start by seeing the best in others, to see the best in ourselves.

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Dissolving Problems

Isn’t it funny how when something comes up in your consciousness, you suddenly notice it everywhere? Like getting a new car. Suddenly you notice how many of the same car are on the road. Your awareness helps you see what was already there.

Last week, when I wrote Focus on the Good, it was unrelated to anything else that was going on for me. Since then, the concept of “focusing on the good” has come up numerous times. It’s coming up in books I’m reading, in conversations with others, and in my own self-examination of things going on around me. I keep seeing how focusing on the good brings me to a better place. It keeps me moving forward, instead of wallowing and getting stuck.

In general, I consider myself an optimistic personality. When I run into a problem, I don’t get stuck. I say, “OK, here I am. What am I going to do about it?” I’m a problem solver. I think you have to be optimistic to solve problems. If you believe there is no solution to something, there won’t be. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But maybe the “problems” don’t always need “solved.” Maybe it’s just a matter of seeing what’s good in a situation, and going with that. I wonder, would the “problems” dissolve away, in that case? It’s something for me to think about. I see some interesting possibilities in the idea of problem dissolving rather than solving. As if maybe, some of the problems aren’t really problems in the first place.

You can see the dandelions as weeds, or as a pretty yellow flower. Your actions will be different, depending on how you look at the situation.

Focus on the good. Dissolving problems. I might be playing with this idea here for a while. I think there is something to it.

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Focus on the Good

“Focus on what’s good,” is the motto of the principal of my son’s new school next year. Last night we went to a parent’s open house at the middle school for next year’s sixth graders. First off, it brought home that my son is getting older. Call me crazy, but tears welled up with my son heading into the world of lockers and changing classes. I’m not typically one to hang on to any stage of childhood, I love to watch my son grow, but ack. Middle school!

But I digress… I was very impressed with the enthusiasm and positive energy that came from the teachers and students of the school. A couple of times it was mentioned how the principal is the fourth one in four years, and how much they like him. It was mentioned that in a time of budget cuts and all kinds of financial craziness, the principal’s motto has been, “Focus on what’s good.” It’s clearly rubbed off. I don’t think you can fake the kind of positive, caring energy I saw in the school last night.

It is a good reminder of a truth I’ve learned time and time again: What we focus on, we get more of. As Christine Kane puts, “Energy flows where attention goes.” If we focus on the good, the positive, the healthy… we’ll align our actions and get more of that. If we focus on the bad, the negative, the damaging… we get more of that too.

As I was thinking about this today, I realized it’s really the underlying philosophy for my Find Your Eye classes. It’s amazing how we look at ourselves or our artistic work and can so easily see what we need to do better. Participants say, “I need to learn more of this” or “I should be trying that.” But what I think matters most, in our photography and in our lives, is to build on the things that are already going well and working for us. Somehow in life we got this idea that we need to be “well-rounded” people. Good and strong at everything. If you believe this, I have news for you. No one can be good at everything. Let me say that again:

No one can be good at everything.

Not me. Not you. We look at other people, compare ourselves and see our own short-comings. What we should do more of is looking at ourselves and seeing where we are strong. Take pride and confidence in those things, and build on them. We do that with your photography in Find Your Eye, but the concept goes well beyond art and into life.

I’m very pleased to have my son heading into a school with this philosophy. In the face of all sorts of challenges, it’s a great attitude and can change the whole environment. It will create great opportunities for conversations between he and I, and will help cement this truth for me as well.

“Focus on the good.” See what’s good in your life and in your art. Build on that.

Today’s image is another market/wheels image from San Francisco. There was a Farmer’s Market at the Ferry Building the day I met my photo friends. I was a little early and made a great use of my time. I’m still working on this one, I’m not sure if the cropping is quite right. I love the soft light and the angle on the cart with the crates. I’ll focus on the good in the image as I continue to work with it.

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No Hiding Behind the Camera

Me and my glittery blue toes are back from a lovely weekend in Arizona to celebrate my sister’s 40th birthday. It felt good to be so wonderfully warm, hot even. There was a lot of time spent by the pool. Time spent connecting with people I love. Time spent getting to know wonderful new people. Time laughing, laughing and laughing.

I took very few pictures, so today’s post has no image. Because I really cemented something in my mind this weekend.

There are times that my camera connects me to the moment and helps me to be fully present. And there are times that my camera disconnects and separates me from the moment.

I used to be the “event photographer” in social situations. I used to scrapbook everything and always wanted pictures of the events to capture the memories. Everyone else left the photography to me, knowing I would get great images of the event. What I’ve realized over time is that being the event photographer kept me from being truly engaged. A naturally shy and quiet person, I can often be uncomfortable in social situations. My camera gave me something to hide behind. I didn’t fully participate.

Over time my photography has evolved. I no longer scrapbook, and have discovered that without that motivation I’m not inspired to take event photographs. I’ve also discovered that when I put down the camera and really engage with the people I’m with, I have a much better time. I create better and deeper connections.

I miss some great photo opportunities, and I might not have any wonderful images of my weekend to share here. But I have deeper connections with the people I am with. I find that matters to me more.

There were a couple of times this weekend where I began to think I must not be a “real” photographer because I’m not passionate about taking photographs in every situation. There are times I just want to sit back and be. I had to stop myself from that train of thought. Because you know what? I’m me. I get to decide when I engage the world through the lens and when I don’t. If I start to follow some random rules I’ve picked up about what “real” photographers do, I lose what makes my vision mine alone. What makes me a “real” photographer is being a “real” person who picks up the camera and photographs with my heart.

So the vision of my glittery blue toenails against the blue pool water resides in my head alone. I can’t share it with you today. And the connections I made this weekend reside deep within me, because I engaged with all my heart instead of hiding behind the camera.

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A Gift

I’ve been given a gift. There was no fanfare, no gift wrap, and no card that accompanied this gift. It gently settled into my heart and soul last night, as I was getting ready for bed.

I was listening to my husband and son laying on the bed, reminiscing about a trip they took together to France to see a stage of the Tour de France. As they calmly chatted and laughed, I realized that I no longer feel sadness and longing in my memories of our time in Italy. Our whole family has felt the sadness and longing since returning home, but they had only fondness in their conversation.

It was then I realized the gift I had received. Through all of my recent work on letting go of expectation and filling the space with intention, I have found acceptance. Acceptance of where I am now, along with acceptance of the joyous experience that was my time in Italy.

Each memory of that time is now it’s own precious gift. Not to be hoarded with longing, but treasured and held up to the light with joy. To be felt again, but from where I sit today. To be seen in a new perspective.

I have received an amazing gift, to be able to enjoy the memories now while also enjoying the now. I have a smile on my face and in my heart today.

In The Picture

This photo is over a year old, taken last April in Italy. I’ve had it sitting in my edited images folder, just waiting for the perfect moment to use it. Now I know I was waiting for today, because here it is, perfectly representing the gift I’m writing about. While it’s not a recent photo, so I don’t quite meet the criteria for {in the picture}, there was enough symmetry with the timing of the link up, the post and the connections in the photo I thought I would share. The gloves were knitted for me by our {in the picture} hostess, Urban Muser, while we were Mortal Muses together. The Muses had a running internal joke that winter about fingerless gloves, another precious memory that brings me joy. Thanks Christy.

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Filled with Intention

This morning, I continue to ponder the difference between intention and expectation, and the relationship between the two. I continue to seek a way to maintain the space created by letting go of expectations. With all of the random thinking I’ve been doing around this topic, I might have found a way.

Here are my thoughts:

  • Let go of the expectations. No easy task, here. But it’s the starting point. Identifying the expectations that are driving you in a direction, examining them and letting them go if they do not serve you. I started with this, in Lessons from Abroad: Letting go of Expectations, but I didn’t know where to go next.
  • In the space created, explore how you want to feel. Maybe it’s a feeling of peace. Maybe it’s acceptance of what is, or love for the world around you. For me, there is always this desire for balance. I have so many different sides to me, always pulling me different directions. I somewhere gained the expectation I should choose among them, but I have come to realize I am not complete without any of them. I’ve become clear: A feeling of peaceful, joyful balance is what I desire.
  • Fill the space left by letting go of expectations with the intention to feel as you desire. Intention becomes the mirror for evaluating actions. As I set out on a path, I reflect the path against my intention (non-physical feelings) instead of comparing it against some expectations (physical outcomes). If the action fits with the intention I continue; If it doesn’t fit, I change course. The path is guided by the intention, in the moment. I lose the rigidness of a predetermined plan.

I’m liking this sequence. Instead of holding the space left by letting go expectations empty, I’ve filled it with something. But that “something” allows me the space, flexibility and non-attachment to outcomes I am seeking. With my intention filling the space and becoming the guiding factor, maybe I can avoid getting myself into the same situation again. That darn situation of letting expectations for outcomes drive me. Or maybe I can avoid getting myself into the same situation as quickly – I seem to keep coming back to this place so I can only hope that someday I will truly learn and move on.

Thanks for joining me on my journey, no matter how many times I might circle back around to the same place. Especially thank you for your comments; they have been invaluable. Each one is like a spark of thought being shared across a distance. I take the thoughts from you and add them through my own, weaving them together in different ways until they bring me to a new place of understanding. That we can do this with miles of distance between us is testament to the power of human connection. But that’s a topic for another day…

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