Kat Eye Studio

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Back to Balance

Under the Bridge, Chicago, Illinois

Under the Bridge, Chicago, Illinois

For the last half of October, I’ve been focusing on balance in my life. It’s been an interesting period, because for each idea I had about achieving and maintaining balance, there was an asterisk attached to it. It was as if there was a little footnote added in my brain:

*After the website is launched.

Now that the website has been launched, there is this gap in my time. You know that gap, the one that happens after a big project? Where suddenly you have time on your hands and no big overriding goal to fill it? That gap is a critical time. It sets the stage for what is to come. Do you fill it with lots of little things or one new big goal? Normally, I would fill it with one big new goal, or maybe lots of little goals, but for now it’s time to put my plans for balance into practice.

Those plans include planned time for my own creativity and fun. Time for the activities that give me energy. It’s too easy for me to let my project “to do” list take over, which drains my energy. If there are items on the “to do” list, I feel like I should do those first instead of the fun. Before I know it, these wonderful mornings I created by going part time are used up. I know I’m not alone in this kind of work ethic. It’s time for me to change up the dynamic, and I’ll do that by setting some rules about my time. Setting a schedule for creative fun and for the “to do” list. It’s not spontaneous or random, and, damn, if it isn’t uncomfortable! But, it will get me back to that creative play that is so important to maintaining the rest of my creative spiral.

Along with that, I’ll be working to avoid overcommitting, the bane of people with too many ideas. I realized that much of my lack of balance came from commitments I made, mostly to myself, way back into April and May. Yikes! Six months later… here I am recuperating. Can I commit a little less into the future, and leave space for new and interesting things to develop? You bet.

For me, November is going to be a month of focusing on my own creativity and what gives me energy. Photography, blogging, teaching my classes… all of these give me energy. They are part of my core creative processes, so they stay.  Learning gives me energy, so studying Lightroom is on the schedule. Painting is just plain fun, so I need to make time for it. Other than that, I look forward to going with the flow.

It’s time to get back to balance, and see what develops. Want to join me? What things can you do to get back to balance into your life?

PS – Visit me over at Mortal Muses today, musing on some fantastic light.

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At the Threshold of Balance

It’s no secret that over the last two weeks, since returning home from Chicago, I’ve been thinking about balance. I started out by diving into a plan of how to achieve it, but realized that there is a bigger question that has to be answered: What does balance mean to me anyway? I can’t develop a plan for balance if I don’t have a target of what balance looks like for my life.

For me, balance does not mean focusing on any one thing to the exclusion of others. My life is a dance, moving from side to side of the dance floor. Each side has something different to offer, something different it needs. It encompasses so much more than one “thing.” I don’t think there is one word that can capture all of this: Photographer/Teacher/Writer/Engineer/Mother/Wife/Friend. There is no all or nothing.

In my photography, balance starts with deciding what is in and out of the frame before I take the picture. But it doesn’t stop there, it continues as I play around with different compositions and views. I need to remember I’m doing the same in life – experimenting and playing with the elements that make up my life to create a balanced whole. There is no realistic expectation that says we will get it all right and perfect on the first try.  There is no realistic expectation that we will get it all right and perfect, ever. Maybe perfection happens for a brief moment in time, but life is subject to change.

I’m at the threshold of balance right now. Deciding what is in and out of the frame of life. From there I’ll experiment with the details and see how to make things fit in a balanced way. It feels much simpler and freer to think of it as an experiment, where I’m testing to see the outcome, than as a commitment where I “fail” if I don’t get it right.

What does balance mean to you? How do you manage this ever-changing process of achieving balance in your life?

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Chicago & Me

Chicago & Me
We danced a little dance
of lines and curves.
Looking up, up up,
I forgot to look down,
and saw inside instead.
Saw that life
is play
and art
and travel
and friends.
Life is joy
in the moment,
seized.
A camera,
an orange umbrella
are all I need
to be happy.
City of lines and curves,
of light reflected back,
I see Me.
Forgive the random poetry, I’m reading a book of poetry right now and was inspired by the snippets of ideas strung together. These photos were taken at the Cloud Gate sculpture, aka “The Bean,” in Millenium park in Chicago. It was quite empty as I walked past on my way to the Art Institute, and I couldn’t resist a few self portraits with my orange umbrella. The moment just made me happy.

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Lines and Balance

Downtown Chicago is all about lines. Straight, angled, and sometimes curvy lines. Lines soaring to the sky and back down again. For my few days in Chicago last week I was in the downtown area the whole time. In between the convention I attended, I managed to take in a few sights… an architecture cruise on the river, Millennium Park, and the Art Institute. I would have loved to spend more time there, getting to know the city. I barely scratched the tourist surface. The bottom line – I’ll just have to go back!

Today’s image is one of the first edited with my brand new toy – Lightroom 3. My birthday is today and this software is now installed on my computer as a birthday gift from my family. I have had this growing urge to learn something new in the last couple of months and Lightroom came out as the winner as I looked into software. Apart from the overwhelming nature of learning a new program, I can tell this is going to be fun! You will likely be seeing all sorts of crazy edits here, as I learn the software and play around. Like any new technique, I’ll go overboard and then will settle into my style again eventually. That’s just the way I learn.

I can also tell, I haven’t been doing enough of this – playing and spending time on my art. I haven’t found a good balance yet between all of the things I want to do in life as an artist/engineer/mom/friend, and I tend to overwhelm myself with “to do” lists. Finding balance is something that will be a big focus for me in the coming days and weeks. My birthday reminds me I’m a Libra, Bilancia in Italian, and the scales are my symbol.

Change is coming. Not just because it’s a new year for me. Not just because I have the new website (still!) in the works. Not just because of the season. Change is coming for me because I need to find a new balance point. The scales have tipped too far.

 

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Tied up in Knots

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.
— Anna Quindlen
I was surprised by the response to yesterday’s post. It seems that many of us feel that we are the loner much of the time, different and outside of normal. I thought it was just me. It is ironic that we may feel excluded by our differences, yet in our feelings we are experiencing the same thing.
My current morning reading, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown, speaks to the universal human desire for love and belonging. We want to be in the bucket, with the other flowers. The irony, she points out, is that we often strive to achieve love and belonging by fitting in and “hustling for worthiness” and acceptance. When we strive to fit in, acting like we think others want us to act, we no longer honor our authentic selves and we short circuit any true connection. She says, “… To fully experience love and belonging, we must believe we are worthy of love and belonging.”

In the light of that lone flower, we must each embrace our own differences and take them to heart. Stand alone with confidence in our own value and worthiness. When we say, “Here I am, with all of my quirks and differences, take it or leave it,” we are accepting ourselves as we are. From that grounded place, when we reach out to others and feel a connection, the connection is real. It is whole. It is sustainable, because there are no pretenses to keep up.

Have you ever tried to keep up pretenses in a situation? Yeah, it ties you up in knots. After a while, you don’t know which direction you are going. You don’t know where you are, in the midst of it all. It’s not sustainable.

I’m learning, again and again, how important it is to occasionally stand alone, in order to be myself. Whether it is in my art, sharing the photographs I love regardless of technical perfection or perceived photographic ideals, in my relationships, being honest about who I am and what I need, or even at my corporate job, sharing an opinion that may be contrary to the group, I have found the result of standing alone and embracing my differences is true connection. Instead of connection built on the unstable ground of insecurity, it is connection grounded in confident stability.

When I value myself for who I am, others value me too. Go figure.

To all of you who identified with that less-than-perfect lone flower I say: Congratulations. All you need to do now is untangle the knots and stand tall, confident in your uniqueness. Not an easy process, I know from ongoing experience, but so worth it. The reward I have found is connection, with people who are equally as unique, like you.

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What’s going on around Kat Eye Studio…

  • Did you recognize today’s photo as a triadic variation? The current Exploring with a Camera theme is The Color Wheel: Part 2. Check out the post and join in the exploration.
  • Are you ready to get your camera off of full auto and see what you can create? Registration is open for Digital Photography Basics! Class starts October 16. Visit here for the details.
  • Want to know what’s going on in the studio? You can subscribe to the Kat Eye News to stay up-to-date on all the happenings.

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Expectations Lost, Happiness Found

What is it about photography, that makes me happy? I’ve noticed lately, that whenever I go out and photograph, even if it’s just for a walk around the block in the rain, that I return in a good mood. I am smiling and there is a spring in my step. I feel buoyant. The sheer act of capturing photographs, whether they end up good or not, makes me grin.

Thinking more on why photography makes me happy this morning, I found that photography is one area of my life where I don’t have huge expectations or plans. I’ve learned to embrace the fun of letting myself be surprised. I follow my intuition and interests, as they pull me along in new directions. I find great joy in discovering what catches my eye on any given day. Amazing things have resulted as I follow those internal nudges – in photography, writing and my study of art in general.

Take Saturday’s photowalk visit to the Farmer’s Market, for example. Of course I photographed the colorful vegetables, but what really interested me were the flowers on the ground as the vendors sorted and tossed and created beautiful bouquets. Normally I would be attracted to the finished bouquets, but at this moment I was captured by the haphazard nature of the flowers scattered on the concrete and in the buckets. To me, on this specific Saturday morning, these images were the most interesting to explore and compose. These were the images that held a story. Next Saturday, in the same place, it will be completely different.

This gets to the “heart and soul” aspects of photography, or any art. Creating has the power to change how we feel. When we let go of expectations or plans, wonderful things can result. There is an interesting parallel here to the rest of my life I’ve needed to focus on as well: Letting go of control and expectation. It’s something that I am slowly, and surely, learning to do. It’s been a long road, but I am lucky to have something like photography to show me the way, with a smile on my face. 

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What’s going on around Kat Eye Studio… 

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