In this moment, eleven years ago, I was in labor with my son. I don’t remember much of that day, just flashes of images and feelings. I do remember it was a Thursday, like this year, because I remember watching Survivor in the evening while waiting to go in for a C-section after 21 or so hours of labor that didn’t progress. Isn’t it funny, that’s what I remember clearly? That’s about all you’ll get from me about the whole experience. While the birth experience seemed a big deal at the time, since then I’ve discovered it’s irrelevant in the whole. It’s the life experience that really matters for a child.
So here he is, eleven years old today. At times self-assured and confident in who he is, at times unsure and finding his way. On the verge of those teenage years, I see the mix of teen and child in him almost every day.
Brandon on the mosaic steps in San Francisco
He wants his independence but he still wants the comfort of his parents. He still asks me to snuggle before bed, enjoying the quiet time together. He will still grab our hand to hold when he’s not thinking about it. We don’t say anything when that happens, we just quietly enjoy it because sooner or later he will realize that he’s holding our hand and snatch it away. In his mind, he’s too old for that.
I see glimpses of who he is at his heart, and where he may struggle in life. There are some ways he is so similar to me or my husband, and we know how these traits have affected us. We know what we’ve had to overcome. How it affects him remains to be seen, I must remember. He is his own person.
Off on his own, reading while his parents enjoy the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art
As I do every year on this day, I pause for a moment to reflect on what it means to be a parent. Parenting continues to be the most challenging and personal job I’ve experienced. It’s funny how it’s just assumed you will grow up, get married and have kids. As if it’s the easy path because most everyone does it. But it seems to me, being responsible for the growth of a young soul as a parent is possibly the most challenging path of all.
I want to do a good job, for my son. He deserves it.
This gives me goosebumps Kat! You said it so well, it is the most challenging of all to grow a young soul. But I could never imaine something more rewarding.
Ah, Suki, you are so right on the rewarding part. I send you lots of love and encouragement and support as you are on the starting end of all of this!!
You most certainly have done a good job, I could tell in the short time I’ve had to spend with him – he’s got a smile to die for, is eloquent just like his mama, and sweet to annoying little kids who want to play with his DS. Happy Birthday to your boy, and congratulations on having raised such a special one!
Lovely post…. a celebratory day for not only him, but for you. Love that photo on the steps. Trust your instincts, I’m sure that will serve you well.
Happy birthday and congratulations to you both, and thank you for sharing these touching words.
Such lovely words, so nice to see our children growing up and becoming the people that they are going to be… hope that you and your son have a lovely day.
Kat – what a lovely tribute to your son and to being a parent – the best and most difficult job in the world.
(And your son and I share a birthday – today is #56 for me 🙂
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA! I’ll virtually send you some of our birthday cupcakes tonight.
What a lovely post Kat. My son recently turned 8 – the time seems to fly by. I’m hanging onto those huggy moments – so precious!
The huggy moments are the best, aren’t they? Although the elbows and knees seem to get pointier as they get older… 🙂
Such a beautiful post. My younger son turned five on Monday and I was thinking many of the same things that you reflected upon today. It sounds cliche but they really do grow up so fast. Keep on doing what you’re doing – you’re obviously doing a great (not just good) job. =)
Thanks Annie. It’s a cliche because it’s so true! Time never moved as fast before my son as after.
Kat, this was such a lovely, from-the-heart post. One that every parent can relate to, no matter how old their children are. Happy birthday to your son! I hope it’s a great year for him.
Wonderful post and images! Hope you all enjoyed this special day and Happy Brithday to your son!!
Great photo of your son on the stairs! Parenting is the most challenging and rewarding job anyone can have. I know you are doing a great job of parenting — don’t forget that kids are resilient and can bounce back from any “mistakes” we may make. Eleven is a great age to be, happy birthday to Brandon!
So lovely to see your son, Kat. I love the shot of him on the colourful steps and his nonchalent look! I also love the black and white capture of him on the bench reading and like how the whiteness of the pages of the open book draws my eyes into the seated figure absorbed in reading.
Being a parent is always about finding the right balance, isn’t it?! Just when you think you’ve ‘got it’, our darling child progresses to the next part of his development! Having said this, parenting is exciting and rewarding and the best part is that we learn from our children (and grandchildren!) As Gina said higher up, kids are resilient and can bounce back when we feel we may have handled things differently.
Years ago, I read an excellent book by Bruno Bettelhein called “A Good Enough Parent”. It helped me bring things into perspective with three growing children and I realized that I didn’t have to be perfect, but that I did need to be consistent!
Enjoy your son and go with the flow as he changes!
Have a beautiful family Easter!
Sandra
Sorry, I made a typing error. The name of the author of the above-mentioned book is BETTELHEIM!
My computer is our of action, so I’m writing from a friend’s computer!
Hi Kat,
What a lovely post and your lead in photo is wonderful, a classic!
Yep, I’d agree that parenting is the most challenging and rewarding job that we will ever have in our lives, and the most important! Plus, like art, it takes lots of creativity 🙂
Wishing you and your family a perfect Easter weekend!