Japanese Garden

What are your “shoulds?” Throughout the day, without even noticing it, many may run through your head:
I should call my mom.
I shouldn’t eat that brownie.
I should pay the bills.

Yeah. Lots of “shoulds.” They invade our artistic process too. We have a great discussion going on in the comments on yesterday’s post, and inevitably the “shoulds” have popped up there too. They do in almost any conversation about photographic process…
I should get it right in camera. I shouldn’t need to post-process.
I should use a tripod.
I should take a photograph every day.

What are your “shoulds?” I bet that you have some immediately that come to mind. We all have them. We carry them around, a lot of time without noticing them. And you know what? They drain us. They are an insidious way of saying, “I’m not good enough as I am. I need to change.” They are the voice of doubt. Fear in a subtle form. “Shoulds” are a nagging weight that pulls us away from our creativity and purpose, because instead of moving ahead with confidence they keep us chained to indecision, always questioning ourselves.

We need to address the “shoulds” and make a conscious decision on what to do with them. Make them to a “do” or “do not” and then move ahead. How?

First, you have to acknowledge the “should.” Write it down. Give it voice. You can’t address something if you don’t first consciously recognize it. Acknowledging there is a “should” does not make it truth. It just brings it to a place you can work with it.
Ask yourself, “Where did this ‘should’ come from?” Did it come from someone else? Who? Try and be specific. The statement, “I should call my mom” could come from internal means, you just miss your mom, or as a result of your mom repeatedly saying you don’t call her enough. The feeling “I should take a photograph every day” could come from your photography teacher or it could come from your own internal desires. Do your best to identify the source.
Next ask yourself, “Is this ‘should’ of value to me? Does it help me in some way?” The feeling we “should” do something can indicate that we want to learn something or grow in a certain direction. Look at it as objectively as possible. What is the outcome if you follow this “should?” It may mean you learn something new about yourself. Maybe more information is needed to answer the question, and that will define your direction. Ask yourself, “Do I want to follow this ‘should’?” If the answer is “no” or “not right now” then you will know your direction. The “should” may mean nothing to you, add no value, once you examine it in the light of day.
Make a decision. Ask yourself, “What is my choice around this ‘should’?” Move it to a “Do” or a “Do Not” and then set the “should” aside. If your “should” is, “I should be using a tripod,” decide if you will or you won’t. Maybe you need to practice with it and see what it brings you. Maybe you already have tried it and you know. Either way, make a choice and then move ahead. Write down your choice. Consciously say goodbye to the “should.”
Finally, give yourself permission to change your mind later. Nothing mires us in indecision more than the fear of making the wrong choice. But here’s the truth: You can always change your mind. Very few decisions are truly final. Thank goodness, or we would be living with choices we made in our teens or twenties that no longer fit our lives. If you struggle with the idea of changing your mind, thinking “I should stick to my decisions,” then maybe take a look at that “should” sometime.

None of these steps are easy, especially if it’s a “should” you’ve been carrying around a long time. It can be so ingrained you barely notice it. It can be difficult to tease out the source and what value it has to you.

It can be scary as hell to make our own choices, but we are always going to be the better off if we consciously choose our direction than if we live under the nagging doubts of the “shoulds.” Think of the parallel to our art. When we create photographs, we get to choose what is in or out of the frame. Our images will always be better when created with a conscious choice rather than a “should” picked up somewhere along the way. It seems so clear when put that way, doesn’t it? It’s the same with life.

So I ask you again… What are your “shoulds?” Start a list today. See how much these little things are hanging over your head. Pick one and work through the process. Let me know how it goes.

Close your eyes. Imagine a place where the world is peaceful and calm. What do you see in your mind’s eye? Is it something of nature? What do you hear?

If you are having trouble find a place of peace and calm, I can take you there. A place with tall trees whose leaves are beginning to fall. A place with gently running water over stones. A place where you can walk and see something beautiful every way you turn.

The place I will take you is the Garden of Gentle Breeze, which I visited yesterday as part of the Kelby Worldwide Photowalk. This garden was created, is still being created, by homeowner Jay Gray in the forested hills near Corvallis. We arrived in the morning and started our visit with Jay explaining a bit about the philosophy of the two different types of gardens he has, the Zen or Tea Garden and the Strolling Garden. Everything is symbolic in the gardens, he says, with analogies for life. He also mentioned that the strolling garden is “edited” from it’s natural state, adding and subtracting elements to create the garden. That idea captivated me, as we do the same in our photographs.

While wandering the gardens I felt a sense of peace and calm. I had made a choice for simplicity this rainy morning, bringing only my 35mm lens, to see what I could see from that single field of view. I enjoyed both the wider scenes and the close up views.

I was fascinated at the artistry and interaction of the built elements with the plant elements. All are so intentionally chosen. They are a work of art.

Even the potted plants on the deck are arranged intentionally, with beautiful symmetry yet interesting contrast.

I was especially drawn to the lanterns, so I asked Jay about them. He said that when they are lit, they throw light in distinct directions. They are often at a stairway or a fork in the path, reminding you that you are making a choice. They are symbolic of the choices we have to make in life, making them obvious and intentional.

Partway through my visit, I started to play with my images. I wanted to create something that captured the impressions of the garden, rather than a literal photograph. I set the camera to longer shutter speeds and experimented with motion during exposure. I got a lot of terrible images, they just look blurry or are unintelligible. But I also got two that I loved, that really captured the feeling of the natural beauty of the garden in a powerful way.

This is my favorite photograph from the day. It feels like a painting, and just seems to captured the delicate beauty of the place in a way the other photographs did not. This was created in camera, with only minor edits in Lightroom.

Everything seems to draw me back to intention, which I also mentioned in Friday’s Exploring with a Camera post. We have choices in how we create our photographs. We have choices in how we live our lives. Whether it’s a beautiful garden or an artful photograph, when we are intentional about what we create, amazing things result.

Addressing the “Shoulds”

Garden of Gentle Breeze

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