Kat Eye Studio

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A Sense of Belonging

[F]itting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.
— Brené Brown in Daring Greatly

Are you trying to fit in anywhere? Have you noticed yourself shifting or adjusting, thinking, If I just do this, I’ll fit right in. I do it all the time. It seems to be my go-to thought process in any new situation. It’s like survival instinct, learned in junior high: Assess the situation and see what needs to happen to fit in.

In our world of always connecting and social media, it’s easy to want to fit in. I mean, it’s all right there in hard, cold numbers: Followers, Likes, Comments. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex, using those numbers to feel accepted and valued. But if we drive ourselves for likes, comments, followers… are we trying to fit in or are we finding we belong? My thinking: Anytime we do something with the intent to get someone else’s approval, we are trying to fit in. When we do something for our own reasons, and then get some positive feedback and approval, we belong.

With joining Instagram I’ve gone through this full cycle all over again. A new platform, starting from zero. Hey, I’m a numbers girl. They attract me, and it’s easy to watch the numbers. The follower count. The number of likes. It’s easy to start to assess what gets the most likes and what doesn’t. To let that sway my creation.

But when I take a step back and ask: Do I create for others or do I create for me? The answer is always, unequivocally, for me. And when I do create for myself, and when I connect with people who like my work, it’s with a sense of belonging and not fitting in. Because I’ve put my real self out there, when I do find connection and acceptance, it’s much more meaningful. No more trying to fit in. Junior high is long over.

This lesson has come back to me so many times in the online world… From Facebook friends, to blog comments and hits, to followers on Twitter and Instagram. None of them matter. My worth is not wrapped up in a number. I have learned, over and over, that I would rather have 2 engaged and real connections than 20,000 likes. Maybe it’s not the smartest business or marketing thing to do, but it’s the only way I know to live with myself. It’s the only sustainable choice for me. And, at times, it’s scary as hell.

Brené Brown states it so very perfectly, this difference between fitting in and belonging. It makes me take a hard look and ask myself, “What am I trying to do?”

My answer is to sit up straighter, take a deep breath, and commit to being myself. Thanks for being here with me as I continually search and find the center of who I am through my creativity. I hope you feel that you belong here too.

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Seeing is Believing

Have you ever had a moment where you saw someone doing something – maybe it is a physical feat or a lifestyle choice or some sort of art – and you thought, I didn’t even know that is possible! It stops you in your tracks and makes you think. It can break down some wall you didn’t know you had. Open you up to new possibilities and a breadth of thinking about the world, the people in it, and how they make choices in their life. Maybe how YOU make choices in your life.

I had the opportunity to think on this concept this weekend. A lovely friend came to Corvallis to spend the day on Saturday, and as we were chatting over chai, I asked about her daughter, who is nearing the end of her undergraduate degree. Is she going on to grad school? I asked. Probably not, she said, and we talked about what she would be doing.

It brought to mind my own experience in college. Being the first of my family to go to college, I eked my way through. Scholarships, financial aid, working two or three jobs at a time and studying like crazy to get done in four years. Exhausting. So when my advisors really wanted me to go on to grad school, I rebuffed them. Why? I couldn’t live like that for another few years. I was ready to get my degree and a job and have a life. I didn’t realize there were other ways to fund graduate school… That with my grades and as a woman in electrical engineering I could have had a full ride somewhere. I didn’t realize what was possible because I had never seen it. No one I knew, no one in my immediate experience, had ever gone to grad school.

Seeing is believing. I couldn’t see how. I didn’t believe. I didn’t even realize the possibilities that existed.

After chatting over chai about life and work and family and art, my friend and I continued on our day by visiting a few artists studios in an Open Studio event. Several professors from the Oregon State University art faculty opened their studios on Saturday to the public. It was fantastic to see the studio spaces and the range of work they were doing. Every artist’s space and art is so unique. It is wonderful to talk to the artists about the work they create and why. Our favorite visit was with Clint Brown. For a while we were the only people there, and we had a nice long conversation about his different work, his process and things he had done, and he even pulled out some of his photo collage work from years ago after talking with me about what I had recently been doing. Wonderful.

As we left his studio I realized how important these open studio visits can be. This is only the second time I’ve attended, but they’ve had an amazing impact on me. You can see where, what and how the artists create. You can see what is possible. And just like anything else, seeing is believing. For those of us coming to art later in life, who don’t have an art background or education, it can be eye opening. If you don’t know any professional artists or see how they work, how can you believe it’s a possible choice? It can seem as much a fantasy as going to grad school did to me so long ago. But when you see it first hand and talk to the artists it is different. You learn that it is possible to live a life that involves creating art as an everyday thing. I’m not sure the artists realize what an impact they can have by sharing their space and their art in this simple way.

Have you ever visited an open studio event? I encourage you to. Chances are, there is one sometime during the year near your home. It’s a fantastic way to see the art that is being created in your local area, meet the artists, and to open your eyes to possibility. Seeing is believing.

And to wrap the story back around… I eventually did get to grad school, in the way that made sense to me. I did it in the evenings while working full time, and my employer paid for it. I don’t have any regrets for the choices that I made at the time, since they all led me to the path I am on today. Looking back I can see why I made those choices: I didn’t truly understand the possibilities.

Think about what that might mean for you. What do you believe is possible?

Blogs and books are also wonderful ways to learn other people’s stories and see what is possible. The Spark & Inspire eBook is a perfect example! I’m excited to announce the winner of the eBook giveaway: Judy Salcedo of Hey Jude Photography, a long-time participant around here. Congrats Judy!

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Rain Painting

I seem to be in a monochromatic mood with my recent work! I’m creating with very simple color schemes including a lot of black. Maybe it’s the change of the season… after so much bright color with the leaves I am enjoying the toned down color of winter.

This week for Paint Party Friday I thought I would share this recent piece of digital art, Rain Painting, along with how I created it:

Rain Painting

I shared a square version of this work over the weekend through Instagram, but I really like the rectangular version so much better! It seems to emphasize the tall trees and painterly feel.

OK, so how did I create it… First, I started with this image, taken out a rainy window from the backseat of our car last Friday:

Photographing from a car is always a challenge, because you have to act quickly to frame and capture whatever is there. I think using a camera phone helps because I could get it set up and then anticipate the photograph by watching the trees that were coming up ahead. I liked this right out of the camera, but wanted to add more texture and warmth to it, so I first took the image through the Pixlr Express PLUS app to shift the color and add a texture:

I also wanted to add a more painterly feel, so I took the original photo through the Glaze app to create this version:

Finally, I took all three images, original, textured and glazed, and combined them using the Iris Photo Suite app. I don’t remember the blending modes or percentages I used, though! Blending images is typically a one-time thing, just playing around with modes and percentages until the combination looks right. And here’s the final version again:

Rain Painting

I like how it turned out. It brings me a moody, wet feeling – kind of like a rainy day. Winter has definitely arrived in Oregon!

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The Happiest Monday

And why is this the happiest Monday, you ask? Because I feel better! Woohoo! It’s amazing how happy you are for the little things, like getting up early on a Monday morning, when you’ve been feeling a bit under the weather. The four day weekend was just what I needed to recuperate.

You know how I could tell when I was on the mend? Creativity started flowing again. I sat down with my iPad this weekend and some photos I took with my brand new iPhone 5 last week and created a couple of new pieces of digital art. Well, more than a couple, but I’ll share my favorite two with you here.

Tree, Squared

I am still having so much fun with this whole mobile photography/digital art stuff! My excitement for getting the new iPhone last week was a bit damped by all of the coughing and sniffling going on at the time, but after playing with the images this weekend I am so happy to have this higher resolution tool for image capture. And of course, it’s just plain fun to enter the world of the smartphone, although I really wanted it mainly for the camera.

Reaching

I used my other favorite new tool, my printer, to print and hang a few of my recent creations in my hallway from the entry to the kitchen. You can see them there, in the center. (I found the square shadowbox frames at IKEA, if you were wondering.)

From capture to creation to wall, all in a couple of days! I love it. See, it’s a happy Monday!

PS – Don’t miss the giveaway of the Spark & Inspire eBook I have going on this week.

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