Today, I want to continue the conversation on “apologizing” we started on Monday. This seemed to touch a chord with many of you! It is clearly a topic many of us could explore further. I was especially struck by this comment from Sue Fox:

I try not to apologize for anything unless it hurts another person in some way, then my apologies are profuse. My art, however that may be expressed ~ photography, writing, dressing myself or my house are all extensions of my persona so to apologies for any of your artistic expression would be a rejections of self!

She touched on a couple of very important points I want to discuss further…

First, we should not hesitate to apologize when apologies are truly due. A true apology is a powerful thing. It is you going to someone else, humble, saying you were wrong. A true apology is a moment of extreme vulnerability. You offer yourself up to them and ask forgiveness. Whether or not they accept, an apology is a form of growth.

It is hard for us to give true apologies, isn’t it? You often hear, “I’m sorry, but…” Whatever follows the “but” is the explanation for the action. That’s not really an apology; it’s a justification. I’ve tried, more and more, to listen to how I’m apologizing. It’s amazing how much the “but” comes in there for me. True, sincere apologies are important and are something I’m continuing to work on personally. It’s hard work.

Now we come to the second point of Sue’s comment, on apologies for our art being apologies for our self. This is a powerful point, so let’s stop and read that again:

When we apologize for our art we apologize for our self.

Art is expression of self. When we create, it comes from some place deep inside us. When we follow our inspiration and our intuition, we are connecting with our truest selves. We are often expressing the part of our self we keep hidden from the world, maybe even hidden from ourselves. That’s why it’s often so hard to share our work, because it puts our true self out in the open. We are naked, vulnerable, and any comment or criticism can cut deeply. So we aim to protect our self, creating a tough, outer shell through any means possible. One of which is apologies.

When we apologize for what we create, we are apologizing for our expression and, by extension, apologizing for our truest self. Apologizing for our preferences or our beliefs does the same thing. It’s as if we are saying our opinions, our creations, our very self, is not worthy of expressing itself to the world.

That is So. Not. True.

We all have worth. Our creations have worth. For me, they bring me joy. They help me understand my place in this world. They give me a way to connect with others, when my introverted, shy self would otherwise hide in the house with a book. That is all worthwhile for me. And for you, too.

Whatever the reasons you create, your creations are worthy. YOU are worthy.

Now, I want you to sit up tall. Take a deep breath, and repeat after me:

I will stop apologizing for my art.
I will stop apologizing for who I am.
When I do apologize, I will really, truly mean it.

It’s a tough mantra to live up to, but I believe we all can do it. I believe we need to do it. Are you with me?