The first thing you are going to notice in this month’s Photo-Heart Connection: For me, there is no photo. No art of any sort. I’ve not done my “homework” this month, spending the time to look for a connection. (If this is your first time in visiting, I encourage you to look at past Photo-Heart Connection posts to see what this monthly practice is all about. This month is NOT a good example!)
Rather than giving you excuses about how busy I’ve been, or how I’ve been focused on other things beside creating new photographs, or even going through the motions and picking an image to write about, I decided to spend some time examining why I’m not really interested in finding my heart connection this month. See what my heart reveals by NOT searching for a connection through my photos.
First off, all of the things I listed above are true. It has been busy and my focus this month has been elsewhere rather than creating new photographic work. But this has nothing to do with my art. From an art standpoint, I’ve never been more clear on what, how and why I create. I’ve never been more confident in what it is I’m trying to achieve in my artistic work. I’ve never been more excited to share my work with others, through speaking, exhibitions and art fairs. Connecting through my art, in person, with others. Along with creating and sharing my art in the physical world, I’m loving the connections I’m making with other local artists and how I’m becoming part of the art community here where I live.
I think my internal questions lie more in what I am doing here, online, and in other aspects of my life. How I want to engage. I came back from Italy almost three years ago with a big plan about how things were going to be, with teaching online classes and all of that. And things went according to plan for a while, until I realized I was overwhelming myself and at risk of burnout. Until I realized that the plans made in the beautiful unreality of my time in Italy didn’t perfectly fit my life as it unfolded. Those of you who have followed me through all of that have seen this change unfold, bit by bit. With this evolution, I’ve done some work to sort the questions out, but not enough. Not nearly enough.
Where I find myself this month is on the cusp of some serious personal work. It’s not so much about the art right now or what I want as an artist, but where do I want to be as a human being, a citizen of the world, a mother, a friend. I need to redefine my vision and direction, examine my values and reassess my choices across all areas of life, including this one here. I’m in week 2 of my first massively open online course through Coursera, called Better Leader, Richer Life, to help me do just that. The teacher is becoming a student for a while. It’s got me thinking, working, examining. And that’s what I need right now, I feel it deep down in my center.
I know I need the heart connection, too. Don’t worry, this practice is not going away. It’s just not right, this month, for me. As the host though, I have to post something so that you all can link in, or we don’t have the Photo-Heart Connection. This assessment of where I am and what I’m working through seemed more honest than going through the motions of the process this month, so this is what you get.
I guess sometimes the heart connection is knowing what your heart needs, without needing to look. My heart is open right now. Open, and waiting to see what comes next.
What is your Photo-Heart Connection this month? Did you look through the art you created in April, and find the one that speaks to you? Or maybe NOT find one, as was the case with me? Please share your heart connection with us here. The link up is open through May 7.
I love your honesty and your ability to express yourself. To know when your heart is searching and what form that takes. Kudos.
Jay Maisel, when asked by a student, “What can I do to become a better photographer?”, responded, “Become a better person.”
Yes, I am very much aware of feasibilities as an art consultant and am trying hard to define ‘pauses’ and ‘clauses’ that freeze creative moments. But this too is fleeting, Kat. Those tiny persisting nudges may actually represent something big and exciting in our creative process.
Hang on. 🙂
I admire how carefully you listen to your heart, Kat. Life is about growing and changing. Your openness and search for meaning will lead you to wonderful new things. Brava!
Hi Kat, I think our lives, careers, aspirations and dreams are all like branches of a bonsai tree. we can see the shape we want each one to take, and as we work on one branch others might get a little neglected. Even if all is going well on all branches of our bonsai we need to stand back and assess, view, and possibly (I say with hope) joy and satisfaction. But if we don’t stand back from our tree once in a while how will we know what to work on.
I applaud you for your honesty, and sharing your growth with us, it helps and inspires. Thanks, also, for your time, as well it cannot be easy to maintain all that you are doing and still find time for growth.
I really understand where you’re coming from, Kat. Sometimes it’s in the quiet that we most find our next move.
I too love your honesty…and sometimes this just happens. It’s important to listen and hear what goes on inside…good for you.
Thank you for sharing this Kat…I’ve been trying to evaluate some things as well, but have to make sure I’m in the right frame of mind before I make any decisions. I’m feeling a lot of quiet time coming on . . .
Hi Kat,
Feels like a while since I checked in with your blog – but so nice to read an update from you. Its so interesting to read about how your plans have evolved from Italy to now. Very honest and thoughtful. And oh dear, I didn’t know about all those online course at universities – well, I’d heard they existed , but never taken a peek.
Can’t wait to see where you take things next. Rh x
Photo or not, it seems that you have really found your heart connection this month. Best wishes, and enjoy your time as a student!
Thanks Kate for allowing yourself to do this… I truly believe that the PHC practice is related to a deeper practice which is linked to pay attention and stay present… and that´s what you are doing and what you are showing us. Much Love