Some old friends visited me recently. These are mutual friends you and I have, I’m guessing. You probably know them too: Doubt and Fear. Do they ever visit you? I would bet they do.
For me, they show up anytime I’m doing something new. No matter how much I’ve already accomplished or become comfortable doing, they like to come and whisper in my ear, “What do you think you are doing? Who do you think you are?”
There is a difference in my response these days, though. Instead of stopping me in my tracks, or paralyzingly me in place, I wearily say, “Hello, guys. I should have known you’d be along anytime now. Why don’t you sit over there, in the corner? You can watch me work. I’m busy here and don’t have time for you.” I know I can’t get rid of them, at least until this new project is over. But I can acknowledge them, then ignore them and move ahead. There is no use paying attention to them. They sing the same tired song every time.
This part of growth is inevitable for me. The Doubt-and-Fear part. Just like spring comes around every year, doubt and fear will come along every time I stretch myself into something new.
There is that one big difference though… Now that I’ve been doing my art for a while, since I’ve stretched myself over and over by doing lots of uncomfortable, new things over the last few years, their impact is not as great. They don’t hold the power over me that they used to.
Inevitable, yes. Powerful, no.
That’s the amazing thing about growth. When the cycle comes around again, you aren’t in the same place. You can look back at where you’ve been, where you were the last time you heard those voices and say, “Huh, guess you weren’t so right after all. Why should I listen to you this time?” Your response and your capacity to manage the doubt and fear grows too.
Take a moment today and think about where you are now. Is there a direction you are going that is bringing up the doubts and the fears? Then look back a year, two years, five years. Look at how you’ve changed. The things you’ve done. How you’ve grown. So when our mutual friends of Doubt and Fear show up at your door, you can banish them into the corner too. Because you know you don’t have to allow them power over you.
You’ve done it before, you can do it again. With less doubt and fear, this time.
Great post Kat and yes they are definitely mutual friends of ours. They usually win with me but inviting them to sit in the corner sounds like a great idea. :0)
My theory, as long as they don’t keep me from moving ahead, they can come along for the ride.
Doubt and Fear are just things…things we have no use for. Once you recognize them for what they are, and Kat, it seems as though you have done just that, it is easy to let them pass you by. And you are left with a great big smile of acceptance for who you are. The true authentic self is beautiful! Yes, IT’S ALL GOOD! Make the most of it! Aloha
I like that idea… they are just things. We can set them aside!
Such a beautiful post Kat. And yes, I know those two.
Maybe if we all put them in the corner, they’ll stop visiting us! I doubt it though… 🙂
Thank you for the encouraging voice of this piece – the recognition that Doubt and Fear visit each of us – but that we don’t have to listen to what they have to say.
I love the delicate feeling of hope in this image – the lightness and belief that spring will indeed come.
Yes! Spring is definitely here in Oregon. It seemed like it happened suddenly, a week ago. Any signs of spring for you?
Well put, and glad that you’ve learned to work around them.
Thanks Cynthia! It’s always a challenge, at least it’s getting a little easier with each step down the road.
So much better to keep ones eye on these 2 then to turn ones back on them. I’m learning to stare them down … they usually blink first that way! Nice post, Kat!
I love the idea of staring them down, Mariglee! Keeping them in our sights means they can’t sneak up and surprise us.