As I write this, my husband is on his way to take his parents back to the airport after a for a one-week visit. Brandon is off getting ready for school, after a tearful goodbye. I expect more tears to follow. Goodbyes are always hard for him. They are hard for all of us, but they are always extra-hard on him.
It never fails to amaze me the depth of connection that my son has for his grandparents, and really all of the extended family, that he rarely sees. It’s as if there is an invisible tie that binds him to these people. There is some chemistry that makes him always feels safe and loved in their presence, unlike anyone else.
I must admit, I don’t quite understand it. I never had that kind of relationship with my extended family. I didn’t grow up with many of them around, similar to Brandon. Visiting them was always fun, but I didn’t know them well enough to form a strong attachment. Maybe that’s the difference between my son and me… It takes me time and effort to develop a deep relationship with someone, while he loves with his whole heart open from minute one. A good thing, I suppose. And a scary thing, to me.
So this morning I will provide the comfort and stability of a mother. Another relationship with those invisible ties that run deeper than I would have ever though possible, until having a child. The love that is a universal, unceasing presence, not like the the ocean that lies an hour away from us. There may be storms on the surface – frustrations and stresses of the day-to-day – but in its depths it is the same. It’s always there for us to visit, to tap into and gather strength from, when we need it.
It never ceases to amaze me how shared DNA doesn’t always mean shared personality traits or approaches to situations. But it is the differences that keep l ife interesting and aspire you to maybe approach things differently yourself. Love this post. Love that you have family that can evoke such strong emotion.
Kathy
I understand his connection, I had that same connection with my grandfather, and it was a very strong one. Wonderful post . . .
You are right Kathy, seeing my son approach his relationships differently makes me think that maybe there’s something to it. I worry about him getting hurt with his “whole-hearted-ness” but maybe that’s my own scars that are talking.
I wish I was a bit more like Brandon and able to love easily with his whole heart.
Beautiful post, Kat. It’s so wonderful that Brandon has that special relationship with his grandparents! I never knew my grandparents or any other extended family while growing up and always felt sad about it. Now I feel so blessed to be able to create strong connections with my own grandchildren.
I know the feeling Gina, not having much family living nearby. But Brandon doesn’t either, and he seems to have the strong connections I didn’t. So there must be more to it than proximity.
It’s lovely to hear about your son’s deep connection with his grandparents and other extended members of the family.
Some people are just able to love others without reserve and I have always admired that. The love we give always comes back to us doubled.
I didn’t experience a close-knit family, but created the love and warmth within my own family unit. Now I experience deep connection with my grandson.
Feeling connection with others is also letting go of fear.
Brandon sounds as if he isn’t afraid to love. What a wonderful gift to have all through life!