Life has an interesting way of presenting us with choices. Sometimes they don’t feel like choices, but they are choices nonetheless. I was reminded yesterday, as I gave choices to my son. Choose different behavior, or lose computer privileges. Guess what he chose? Yeah, no computer time for him this week. Somehow, it’s my fault that he lost his computer time. Those of you who are parents will understand how this conversation goes. We had quite a bit of discussion about this topic, the rest of the afternoon. The afternoon that we planned to go out exploring as a family, looking for interesting things in our area to see and do. We still went out on the excursion, but there was a cloud of discontent hanging in the backseat.
Nonetheless, it wasn’t raining and it was a beautiful afternoon outside. I found some interesting things to photograph, and being out and about with my camera kept me calm and cool. I was excited to find this interesting green building, in the tiny town of Harrisburg, south of Corvallis. Even more interesting, was the green door of the green building. The shapes, color and subtle texture were fun to compose.
I have this sneaking suspicion though, that this image of the green door is always going to remind me of the day that I truly realized that teenager-hood is just around the corner. That parenting through the next few years is going to be so much harder than it has been up to now. That the choices I’m making now will affect what my son learns about how to navigate the world around him as an adult. Whether or not he learns to connect the dots: Regardless of what life presents you, you always have a choice in how you respond.
We all have to learn this lesson. Maybe again and again, for some of us. Somehow, this simple image of the green door is always going to remind me: When life presents us with a challenge, we always have the choice in how we respond.
Kat I have a 23- and 24-year old, so been there, done that. There is one thing I know for sure, and it is something that a friend told me long ago…
“If your child doesn’t “hate” you at least several times as they are growing up, you are not doing your job as a parent.”
It sounds pretty tough, but it surely rings true for me, and I can tell you that it saved me an awful lot of guilt and agonizing over decisions.
I love the wonderful simplicity of this photograph, and I promise that someday you will look back on it and smile.
So will your son.
Thank you so much for sharing with us today at The Creative Exchange.
Have a wonderful evening!
lisa. xo
Thanks Lisa. I will remember that quote and will let it save me some guilt and agonizing too! Hearing from you and others who have been through this successfully is encouraging.
very wise words, well said. (written).
Yep…I bet you got the “look” too! I never knew what an awful, mean and unfair person I was until I had teens… ; )
Green is my favorite color — I really love the door shot.
Oh yeah, totally got the “look.” I remember how awful, mean and unfair I thought my parents! I know what’s coming my way. 🙂
I’m where Lisa is, been there, done that! When you go through these tough years, just remember “this to shall pass!” Someday, when you have a son (and in my case a daughter) that your truly admire and are so incredibly proud of, you can look back on these hard times and be glad that you gave him tough love!!
I’m already glad of giving him the tough love today! But whew, years more of this to go… I will definitely need more “camera-therapy” time!
Well said! Love the door!
Love these images and the memories of dealing with my teenage sons as well. It’s the hardest time to stick to your guns, but SO important in spite of “the look” and the sulk and the frustration. I look forward to seeing the results of many more excursions!
Thanks for the encouragement Terrie! I will endeavor to ignore the “look” and the sulk.
I love the green door and the textured wall around it.
As for having an almost teenaged son, I vividly remember what that was like! It’s like having a two-year old, whose favourite word is “No”, except that a teenager has more verbal ease and will not hesitate to use it!
One day, you will look back on these times as stumbling and learning blocks and you remember them with detached fondness! So will your son!
We parents learn through our children, as much as they learn through us. We learn about our own reactions to their behaviour and we also learn how not to take what they say personally. Loving detachment works wonders!
It seems from what you wrote above that you are on the right track and being consistent! Children thrive on consistence and respond to it positively. They learn about limits and I believe, though they would never admit it, that they make them feel secure!
Sandra, it is so true – we learn through our children as much as they learn through us. I am constantly amazed by this!
I’m having these conversations with my two year old!! 😉
Love these photos…lots of character in that door. I love finding a scene like this – simple but something so intriguing.
Have a great week!
Very good photos.
Regards and best wishes
I don’t envy you this….I’ve watched my best with her son-but they do come out OK on the other side with your persistence and with the ability to listen. Like a song-an image can transport you back to a time or moment. Pair this green door with an image that has a sweet rememberance to take the edge off.
Hi Kat,
Indeed, parenting can be the most challenging and rewarding thing that we ever do! Our daughter is in college now – doing wonderfully, making the Dean’s List, still making good choices and bad (luckily mainly good) – so, all the times when my husband and I had to be the “bad guys” is now worth it. But, honestly sometimes it was very hard to feel like your own child hated your guts!
As always, I love the abstract images that you pull out of everyday life. You certainly have your own unique vision of the world!
It really helps to hear from all of these parents who have made it through to the other side. Thanks Anna!