My first Find Your Eye class of the year starts Sunday, and I’m so ready! It’s a full class, and the Flickr group is open and everyone is starting to introduce themselves. It’s so exciting to begin the process of connecting.
I was pondering how connection happens this morning, especially in the online world. It certainly takes effort on both parts, yours and mine, for us to connect. It’s not like in the “real” world, where circumstances could put us together in work or social environments, to help that connection along. We have to choose to be here. That’s the first step, but it’s not enough is it?
There has to be something more, to make a connection. There has to be an human, or emotional, sharing and response. If you visit a website, and get factual or useful information, do you feel a connection? I don’t. If there’s no personality involved, no sharing of self, there is no connection for me. Connection starts to happen when one person shares a little bit of themselves, along with whatever info they are sharing. It could be the sense of humor that comes through in their words, or a little about their lives or personal philosophy. Whatever that special something is, it’s important to start the connection.
Hidden Window in Bologna
That’s important to me, maybe because it’s what I do here every day, share bits and pieces of me through my photos and words. Today I share this window in Bologna: Partially hidden, partially revealed by the vines, but completely blocked off to light. I wonder, why is the window hidden and blocked off? Isn’t the point of a window to let in light, and air? This image makes me feel somewhat sad, and anxious. What windows do I still have inside me, hidden and blocked off like this? I know they are there, I stumble across them from time to time. Perhaps that’s why I’m anxious, worried about what window I will need to open next. It’s always hard to open a blocked window within our soul.
So I share, and I learn something about myself in the process. The next part of connection is up to you. It’s how you respond. Not everyone will feel a response to what I write, the images I share. For some, they will take away only the factual and useful information. Others will have a response, an emotional connection, with what I’ve shared. You may see yourself reflected in my words. You may see things entirely differently. Either way, that’s where the connection begins to happen in online interactions. One shares, the other feels. The recipient feels connected.
Connection is deepened, the cycle of connection is completed, when there is a response. That could be a comment, an email, an interaction that somehow closes the loop. It could even be signing up for a newsletter or a class. Something that tells me, the person who originally shared, the message was received. And valued. It’s weird sometimes in the online world, because there is the potential to connect with so many people by putting information out there, but you don’t always know who and where it’s being received. You only see numbers. I greatly value the connection I have with those of you who respond, even once in a while to say, “Message received.” It turns the numbers into real people, real connections.
Regular interaction over time, sharing a little bit of the “self” from both parties, becomes a real two-way connection. As real as any connections I make face-to-face, maybe even deeper, because with these interactions we’ve connected on something very, very important to me. Likely, to both of us.
That’s what life is all about, isn’t it? The connections. Of ourselves to the moment, and to the world around us. Our connections to other people.
What do you think? What does it take for you to feel a connection in the online world, and make a connection back? Close the connection and let us all know what it takes for you.
How very true Kat – connections are like a new awakening – how fun and exciting it is to find a kindred sole – especially if they enjoy the things you love!
Yes! Well said Jeannette.
I do believe that life is about connections…without them existence would be cold, dark and lonely…like “1984” by George Orwell…beyond sad.
To feel connected online? Usually it’s a photo or written words that speak to me or spark something within me to the point where I want to or even need to let the sharer know. Inner reflections that correspond with where I’ve been or where I’m at or where I desire to go create the strongest response.
A comment left, a reply given…an exchange, however long or brief, gives to me a sense of connection…of being understand or understanding the other person.
Giving and receiving…important elements in connecting.
Great point, sometimes just feeling understood is all we need for connection.
A blocked window…never thought of that like a blocked soul. Interesting metaphor, and in that I can see why this image made you a bit sad. I’ve felt connection with you for quite some time….and in that, am jealous of those in the “full” class starting their journey, for I know it leads somewhere wonderful and helpful.
Happy day Kat.
I hadn’t thought of a blocked window as a metaphor for a blocked soul either, until I wrote that. I’ve wondered for a long time why I took that picture, it’s been waiting to share until today, when I finally “got” the message. I very much appreciate the connection we have made too! Many more connections to come, for sure.
I loved this post. You wrote about the connections so beautifully.
As you said, I feel more connected when there’s a personal aspect in the post. An image or a written piece or an excerpt from a novel or poem can touch me and move me deeply. I just feel “that’s it, that’s exactly how i would want to say it”. That leads me to comment and share more.
It’s so wonderful we have a chance to ‘meet’ and connect with so many different people.
Have a good weekend.
Thanks for your thoughts Esra. So often that recognition of something expressed for us perfectly by another person becomes the spark for connection.
I think the blogworld is a great way to connect with people. Just think on what we would have missed out on if we didn’t blog. I love connecting with people.
I really like the way you described your window – very insightful.
I can’t even imagine if I didn’t blog… It’s changed everything for me. Thanks for reminding me of that, and for your connection here today!
Connections for me come in many guises. Sometimes I feel a connection to someone through their art, their photos or their words. The more powerful connections move me to action wanting me to respond in some way to reach out, to connect back to show that someone has touched me in some way.
I love it when people feel the same way about something I’ve blogged about and each heartfelt comment makes my heart swell.
I love how you put that, “each heartfelt comment makes my heart swell.” Yes, that’s the connection to the heart!
Thanks, Kat, for the reminder about the importance of connection in our lives. Especially in this electronic era, I find that I have to force myself to TALK to people. That might be a morning coffee with a friend, or an online connection. But knowing that I have a friend makes it worthwhile.
That friendship makes it completely worthwhile, doesn’t it? It doesn’t always take that much to sustain it either. Just a periodic connection, saying, “Hey, I’m here!”
I love the online connections I’ve made this year. Especially the ones I found through your classes! I still keep up with many of them through our blogs. For me the connection began through photography and was completed through the comments and exchanges in galleries, discussion boards, and on blogs. I treasure these friendships, their images and their kind comments. I don’t think every one of my friends has to comment on each blog post to be connected. I know everyone’s busy; just knowing they’re out there and reading is good. An occassional comment certainly helps and means a lot to me! I may not always comment on you blog. I’m not really good with words. But, rest assured I’m out here and I do feel a special connection with you! I always look forward to your thoughts and photos.
We are all in the same boat Cathy, we certainly can’t comment on all that we read. But those moments we do are the connection loop closed – and so important!
I loved it when you spoke of finding “kindred spirits” that you have found through your online courses. That really sums up for me what my online connections are about. And it all involves having a common interest, sharing thoughtful comments that not only are uplifting but that also tell a little about ourselves.
Lately I have really come to value those connections that continue on…where friends keep in touch not only through blogs but also by emailing, even sending/receiving notes in the mail. There is that sense that we are all in this journey together even if we are on different paths, and we all want to encourage one another along the way.
Beautifully put Deborah: The same journey but different paths. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on connection.
Kat,
The online connections that I have made since starting my blog almost a year ago have been the greatest gift. That’s what blogging is all about really – that desire to put yourself out there and hopefuly find the community of like-minded individuals who “get” what you think and feel and create. Now that I understand how precious comments are, I do my best to reach out and let people know when their words or art have moved me in some way – to make that connection. I have always admired the way you write about yourself and your feelings – the struggles and triumphs – and today’s post is no exception.
Isn’t it interesting how when you appreciate the connection, you extend it to others more readily? That is powerful. Incredible really! That means with each connection we make, our ability to connect grows. Thanks for your comment on appreciating what I share. It is often hard to press the publish button on a post like this, there is a vulnerability to put some of these thoughts out there.
For someone like me, who doesn’t function particularly well in large groups, the internet has been a real gift; it enables me to make connections with people in a way that feels very comfortable to me. In many cases, those online connections have turned into offline ones – at the moment, I have three very good ‘real-life’ friends whom I met online in the first instance and whom I see regularly.
I absolutely love it when people leave comments on my blog, and I feel terribly guilty when I fall behind myself in leaving comments on others. I often read something and want to comment, but I also want to write something thoughtful and that takes time, so I put it off till later – of course, later often doesn’t happen and by that time there are even more posts to read. So I can get hopelessly behind with commenting. It’s true that if you write a blog, you only know about a few of the people who read it; it would be so nice to make connections to everyone, even in a small way.
Kat, I love the way you reply to every comment on your blog. It’s something I try to do myself, but I often don’t do it at the time and people probably don’t see the reply in the end. I think one of this year’s resolutions is to reply immediately, as you do!
Yes, there is that “comment guilt” – I know I feel it when I read something great and don’t have time to write a response as I would want to. Time is limited and we do have to pick and choose how we interact. Replying to comments here is how I’m trying to do it, with my limited time. 🙂 I don’t always reply to every comment, but when they are such thoughtful responses like this I feel like I’m just having a nice little chat. A great connection! And I understand your comment about large groups. I am much more of a one-on-one kind of person, and I like how the internet allows me to interact one-on-one within a large group – if that makes any sense.
I love the connections I’ve made in the blogging world, but it took your post for me to realize how they developed. They started with kind comments, back and forth, and I have now been lucky enough to meet in person, several of those bloggers. Because of our online connections, we met as old friends. Over the last few years, I have come to know several women around the world very well, although I will never meet many of them. When things are good, they are cheering me on, and when things go bad, they are there with support. Very much like the circle of friends that I am lucky enough to have right here with me.
It’s so great to be able to trace those connections back to the start, isn’t it? And to know friendships are friendships, regardless of whether they are born out of words on a screen or words in person. I love your phrase, “We met as old friends.” I’ve experienced the same!
One of my favorite quotations is this by C. S. Lewis: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
I began following your blog almost exactly a year ago, after reading your guest post on Christine Kane’s blog about your 2010 Word of the Year. Something about your writing just clicked with me. I love the way you share your heart and soul through your words and images. Even though my life circumstances are completely different from yours, I can relate to so many of the thoughts and feelings you express.
And now, through your classes which resulted in my starting my own blog, I’ve made more connections and become part of a community of other kindred spirits.
Your new students are in for such a treat, Kat!
That is the best quote Lee! And so, so true. So glad you took the step and started your blog for the class – it’s amazing what resulted, isn’t it? I also find it a warm, fuzzy kind of interesting how my past students have been commenting on what my new students are going to experience. I might get the idea you liked my classes or something… 🙂
I couldn’t agree more! For me it has to be somewhat personal.
Yes, it’s that personal connection that matters. Thanks for weighing in!
Once again you were able to hit the nail on the head – and so thoughtfully. One of my 2012 goals is to be able to take a class from you – though I found you only a few months ago, you quickly became one of my favorite blogs. You continually encourage, instruct and share – often eloquently – and inspire me to try new things with my photography.
Though I’ve been blogging for several years with a professional site, my personal blog has been going less than a year but I find it more rewarding. It’s the connections. It’s the comments from folks you know are following your progress -whether artistically or personally -and the comments I share in return…..in total admiration of something they’ve shared.
Yes, it’s time consuming, but no more so than a phone conversation or a quick note to a friend. Thanks for providing such a welcoming, inspiring environment! I look forward to even more connecting this year!
Terrie, I’m so glad you found my blog and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you through the thoughtful comments you add. It’s interesting to hear your take on having both a personal and professional blog. I can’t see extricating the two at this point!
Hi Kat,
Connection online for me is when I respond emotionally to what someone has written & vice versa. I also feel connected with someone when I can feel them through their images, when I connect & see the beauty in their image, I find that although it is visual it is an emotional connection as well. I love what you found in that image & I feel it, the anxiety, if that window was opened the tiniest bit, it would breathe new life into all its space. It’s important to share. Sharing our passions, our emotions, breathes life into ourselves & sometimes to others. I feel connected to what you have written, I am loving your course & I look forward to sharing some more.
I think you have the right of it – connection happens when there is a sharing and an emotional response, and that can be within ourselves as much as with others. Being connected with ourselves is probably the first priority! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this.