self-portrait

January 21, 2013 by Kat

The Beauty of Window Light

You might think, from my photographs, I live a solitary existence since people rarely show up in them. Not so. I just don’t turn my camera to people as a subject very often. Long, long ago, as I was beginning in photography, people were mostly what I photographed. That lasted until my son told me he didn’t want to be photographed anymore (he was maybe 6 or 7?) and it was hard to find other subjects to practice with. I discovered stationary objects could provide a perfectly interesting subject, and they didn’t whine, either! I very quickly shifted away from photographing people to other things, and never looked back.

So I was a bit out of my comfort zone this weekend as I took a two-day class from photographer David Paul Bayles in “Creating Expressive Portraits with Window Light.” All learning is good, right? That’s what I thought as I signed up for it last November. I wasn’t quite so excited for the class as I ended the day Friday, tired after a low energy week, and just wanted to spend the weekend being lazy. But I had paid and my friends were going, so I wasn’t going to bail out. It turned out to be a fantastic weekend! I learned so much. There is a ton of new information floating around in my brain this morning… key light, lighting patterns, light modifiers. New words like gobo, scrim, flag. Thoughts on posing and positioning and engaging the subject. It’s amazing how much has to come together for a good portrait. I have soooo much more appreciation for portraiture after this weekend! I will be looking at every portrait I see very closely to understand how it was created.

I also have more appreciation for those who find themselves on the other side of the camera lens. All of us students had to take turns being the model for the other photographers in the class. It’s ironic that two weekends in a row I found myself staring into the lens, when I so studiously avoid it in normal situations. But it is good to be on that side of the lens too, understanding how it feels. As the one being photographed, you really want direction and to know the photographer is working to make you look your best. You want them to be confident and engaging, so you are comfortable. You don’t want them to be fiddling around or seem unsure of what they are doing. As the photographer, you have to do all of this while getting the technical settings and artistic elements right. Whew.

Here are a few of my favorite photographs of the weekend, posted with permission of the models, my fellow photographers and teacher in the class. These are pretty much straight out of the camera, just cropping on a couple of them. All of these were taken with window light, and in some cases a light modifier of some sort.

In this assignment, we were working on lighting patterns. Meet Helen, with a Rembrandt lighting pattern (almost) in low key. Isn’t she gorgeous? This was really beautiful light for her. This was a dark room with only one light source, a full-length glass door. Several feet behind her was some purple fabric on the wall. An assistant (the instructor) was holding a flag to block the light on her chest so the focus was on her face.

Here we have my friend Jeannette, in a “open” assignment where we weren’t looking for anything specific, just a good portrait in good light. My goal was to create a portrait that focused on her amazing blue eyes. She is sitting on the floor facing a large bank of windows (above her), with other windows on either side of the room. The background was carpet.

For our assignment on incorporating hands into a portrait, I worked with the instructor, David. I loved his hand gesture on the face, and how the light was just perfect through his fingers to keep a catchlight in his far eye. He is sitting angled toward some very large two-story picture windows in his studio, and several feet in front of a plain black cloth background. This is my favorite portrait of those I took over the weekend.

Our final assignment was to create a self-portrait. With dark hair, I’ve never been able to get a good self-portrait with a dark background, so that’s what I wanted to work on. In this one, I’m using the same full length door in front of the purple fabric from Helen’s portrait earlier, but I also reflected some of the light from the door onto the background to give better separation of my hair from the background. I did this by propping a reflector up against a folding chair off camera, to the left of where I was sitting. Kind of fun to be able to figure this all out! I still have more to work on, David pointed out a few things that I could do to improve it, but I couldn’t have created anything like this on Saturday morning before the class started. I’d say that means it was a successful class!

I still have much work to do to get this all down to the point where I’m not the fiddling photographer making the subject uncomfortable. But at least now I have a much better idea of where to start. I do need practice though. Anyone want to come model? 🙂

September 24, 2012 by Kat

The Journey Continues

Camera. Italy. Me.

These things together may not have been the very start of my creative journey, but they certainly were the things that launched me high speed down the path. Somehow in the last few days I came across this photo in my archives and my heart leapt. There it is, laid out in a picture… cameras, Italia and me. Taken in the Alinari Museum of Photography in Florence in 2011, somehow this image speaks volumes to me about my time in Italy. My creative journey with the camera.

I’ve been back from Italy for over a year and my journey with the camera continues. The Corvallis Fall Festival this weekend was another step along the way. It was a successful weekend for me. Not just in sales (although that part went surprisingly well), but in learning, in getting to know my fellow members of the PhotoArts Guild, and in pushing through my fears of having my work “out there” in the public.

I learned a ton… preparing my photographs for sale, how to set up a booth, different ways of display… the list will continue on. While this was my first year participating in the PhotoArts Guild booth, for the four other photographers it was their second year. They had learned a lot and made substantial improvements to the booth to make it bright, open and accessible. Not bad for what could be begged, borrowed and bought used! We were also lucky to have beautiful weather the whole weekend, which always helps a festival like this.

I also learned that you cannot predict the public reaction to anything. There were certain photos that many people would spend a long time studying, but no one ever bought them. There were photos that generated a lot of interest in the form of conversation and questions, but no one ever bought them. In previous years, cards were the big money maker they told me, but this year fewer cards were sold and more prints were sold. Go figure.

So, how do you know what people want? You don’t. How do you predict and prepare? I’m not sure you can, other than to have a variety of options to offer. Sometimes people come to the festival with an agenda, something specific they are searching for. Sometimes people come to the festival as a way to get out and do something for the weekend, with no intent to buy. Sometimes people connect with the art you have to offer, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they have money to spend, sometimes they don’t. Responses to art are subjective. There are too many variables to predict an outcome.

After all of this, you are probably wondering: Will I do it again? Yes. It’s the next step on my journey. And now that I’ve taken the first step, gotten over the initial fears and investment, I’ll continue to move forward down this path to see where it leads. Not at a sprint, mind you, but at the pace that works for me. It was fun!

July 24, 2012 by Kat

Reflected in my Work

When we create a work of art, we put a little piece of ourselves out in the world. Creation is expression of self; a reflection of self. As photographers, we often capture reflections of ourselves without intending to. Here is one such case for me… I loved the texture of the door and lock in this empty old theater in Astoria, Oregon. In the first image I captured, I was reflected in the door window. I noticed and moved to get another shot without my reflection, but in the end, it was the one with my reflected silhouette I liked best.

When I saw the image, it was a visual reminder that we are reflected in our work. The way we see the world, the things we choose to photograph, even the way we frame them are unique to us. Over time, we create a body of work that is an expression of who we are. We can also see our change and growth over time. It’s pretty darn cool to have that epiphany and discover yourself in your artwork.

I don’t know what my love of capturing old textured buildings and door locks says about me, but I know it does reflect a part of me. Maybe some day I’ll figure out what exactly that part is trying to say.

June 26, 2012 by Kat

Head on the Table

Do you ever have moments of weariness, where you just want to put your head down on the table? Where you just can’t do anything else… you don’t have the capacity for more activity, more engagement, more anything. You just need rest. These moments come from many places… it could be relationship or job stress, or situations outside of our control. They don’t happen often to me, but they do happen.

Friday night was one of those moments for me. We’ve got a couple of big issues going on at my corporate job and Thursday and Friday of last week were long, intense days. They were the kind of days where I come home completely drained because I’ve used up all of my creative energy on managing work. Believe me, it takes a lot for that to happen. By Friday night, I couldn’t do anything more than sit and read a book. And not any book, but a light romance because I couldn’t read anything that took concentration. The feeling quickly passed and I’m back to normal, even though the issues continue and there is more work to do. I’m pretty resilient and adaptable when it comes to this kind of stuff.

When I saw the {in the picture} theme, Facedown, I scratched my head quizzically. I wasn’t really into the idea of lying facedown on the ground for a self-portrait. So here’s my version of “facedown” for this month. That bone-weary, lots going on, head on the table kind of facedown that I was feeling at the end of last week. We all feel this way, once in a while.

May 24, 2012 by Kat

A Love/Hate Relationship

I love these rainboots.

I love the bright flowers and the sense of fun they bring to my feet. When I’m wearing them it’s as if I’m saying, “Here I am, look at me! This is who I am! I’m not afraid to be bright and flower-y!” For so long I’ve tried to blend in, to go unnoticed through life. Don’t look at me. Don’t notice who I really am. But now I’m ok with who I am. I don’t mind people knowing that there is something more to me than the exterior. There are bright flowers and fun living in this skin.

I love that I got them in Venice. When we lived in Italy, I walked my son three blocks to his school every day. When it was rainy, I would come home with soaking wet feet and pants no matter how hard I tried to avoid the puddles. So, I was on the lookout for rainboots when I saw these in a shop window on one of my many trips to Venice. They were perfect. I was so excited to get them home, I couldn’t wait for it to rain.

Upon wearing them in that first rain, I discovered these boots hurt my feet terribly. When I put them on, everything feels ok. That’s why I bought them, they felt great in the store. It’s not until I walk a block or two that the pain sets in. I have wide feet and they are just a smidge too tight. They don’t have any flexibility and it’s as if my feet slowly become pinched in a vice.

They are so painful, I never wear them anymore. I almost gave them to someone this year. But every time I tried to give them away, I couldn’t do it. I love these boots and what they represent. So they’ve been sitting next to our coat rack, looking cute as an umbrella stand.

Until yesterday morning, when we had a break in the rain. As I looked outside at the sun going in and out of the clouds I had the idea to head to the park for some self-portraits in my lovely rainboots and a pink umbrella. At least they could be useful as a photo prop. For an hour, I had fun playing with my camera. I discovered the distance limit of my remote control. I played with focus and depth of field. I played with poses. All in the park in my bright rainboots without worry about what a soul around me might think. See? They bring me confidence. I love these boots.

But after an hour, my feet hurt so much I couldn’t run back and forth to the camera anymore. Nothing, and I mean nothing, ever felt as good as getting back to the car and changing out of these boots. It took a while, even then, for my feet to stop hurting. I just can’t wear them. I’m not willing to sacrifice comfort for cuteness anymore. I hate these boots.

*Sigh*

I love these boots.

May 13, 2012 by Kat

Thirty Minutes

Can you spare thirty minutes for me? I bet if I called you and asked you for thirty minutes of your time, you would give it to me.

What about sparing thirty minutes for you? If you wanted to do something, all for you, would you create thirty minutes to do it? Maybe, maybe not. We all have a long list of “things to do” don’t we? We couldn’t possibly spare ourselves thirty minutes, we wouldn’t get everything on that “to do” list done.

Yet I’ve been realizing just how much you can do with only thirty minutes a day. In late January I started to learn to play guitar. I have one thirty minute lesson per week, and I practice somewhere around thirty minutes almost every day.

Less than four months later, I have callouses on my fingers and I can actually play a song or two. They still aren’t perfect, and there’s no way I can sing and play at the same time, but the songs are recognizable. And I’m so excited. I can play the guitar, and I love it.

Five months ago I would have told you I have no time to learn to play the guitar. Are you crazy? On everything else I have to do? But I did. And it didn’t mess up any other commitments or items on the “to do” list. It didn’t stress me out in any way. Because I’m doing it with thirty minutes a day.

Turns out, I can easily spare thirty minutes. It’s starting to make me wonder what else I might be able to do, when I think of it this way.

How about you, is there something you want to do? Is there something you think will take a vast amount of time to learn? Maybe it’s learning to use Lightroom. Maybe it’s starting an exercise routine. Maybe it’s creating in an art form you love. I imagine there are many things on your wish list of items to learn and do.

Can you spare thirty minutes? Think about it seriously. I bet you can. And then, you can decide: What you will do with your thirty minutes a day?