Yesterday’s conversation on fear was fantastic. If you are thinking you are the only one who feels fear, go and take a look at the comments. You and I are definitely not alone.
This topic was on my mind through the whole day. Funnily enough, a message with the title “Your Fears are Lies” appeared in my inbox later in the day. I’m on a list for fear.less magazine, which periodically sends out notes about overcoming fear, in addition to the free online magazine they publish “to show people they’re not alone in their fear.” The message was a perfect continuation of what I started writing about yesterday, highlighting some of the same points and adding others. If you want ongoing encouragement to overcome your fear, you can subscribe to the fear.less free online magazine and the emails here.
Later in the day, I also had a conversation with my husband about how we “pre-reject” ourselves. Here’s the scenario:
1. We see something we want to do or have an idea and want to propose it somewhere.
2. We think about asking or proposing and the little voice in our head starts talking. It says, “They will just say no.”
3. We are so afraid of rejection, we don’t want to hear a “no,” so we don’t ask.
Guess what! No one else had to reject us in this scenario. We did it for them!
Have you ever done this? I have. So, so many times. I’m starting to realize that I should let someone else say yes or no, not decide for them. Some of the time, when you put a question or proposal out there, the answer is no. Sometimes the answer is a big, blank void. That’s almost worse, to my mind. But sometimes, the answer is yes.
The only way you can get an answer of “yes” is to actually ask the question, send the proposal, submit your work. You open yourself up for rejection, but you also open yourself up for success. No one is going to come knocking at your door or in your email inbox asking for this wonderful idea, because they don’t even know it exists until you put it out there.
Think on this. Look for times when you don’t even give others the chance to reject you, because you are rejecting yourself. When that happens, take a deep breath, put yourself out there and let them make the decision. Who knows, the answer might just be “yes.”
Photo is from Murten, Switzerland.