There are different kinds of learning. There is the learning of an expert, polishing and honing a skill to perfection. Getting better and better at a chosen craft. Creating good art, then better art, then great art. Someday, maybe even amazing art.
Then there is the learning of a beginner, growing by leaps and bounds each day. Getting better fast, up a steep learning curve. And creating lots of crap along the way.
There is pleasure in both, but I do love being a beginner! It’s so much fun to sit down and be continuously engaged in the process. To learn something new each day.
What if I do this. Let me try that. It worked out great! Or not so great. Or awful… undo. Undo!
It’s just hard to go back to not creating good work. Occasionally, I create something I like, like these leaves, but I have no idea how to extend that into the next piece, or the next. I have no style, no focus. It’s all experimentation.
I know it’s part of the learning process. To grow you have to accept that you do not start out with mastery. You have to willing to be a beginner again, starting from a place where you will create more mess than good. The only way to get to the real art, your art, is through the process.
That’s the fun and that’s also the frustration.
I’m hopeful some good art will come out on the other side. And if not? That’s ok too. I’m having fun creating again. Learning again.
Right now, that is what matters most.