If you choose to focus your attention on the strengths of others, on the virtues of others, on that part of others that strives for the highest, you run through your system the higher frequency currents of appreciation, acceptance and love.
— Gary Zukav in The Seat of the Soul
There it is again, the concept of focusing on the good. It popped up in my morning reading today, this time around seeing the good in others.
When we focus on what we perceive as faults, annoyances and shortcomings in others, that becomes all we see. It shapes our interactions. It sets up expectations. We look for the fulfillment of those expectations. Our perception of a person spirals down, down, down. One thing leads to another until our “reality” of that person is negative.
But look at it from the opposite perspective. If we focus on the strengths of others, we see things in a different light. We can look for things a person does well and that we appreciate. We can stop assuming motivations for actions. We can realize we don’t know another’s mind or intentions. Our “reality” of that person changes, because “reality” is subjective.
All it takes is a slight shift to one side.
Zukav goes on to say, “As you come to seek and see the virtues and strengths and nobilities of others, you begin to seek and see them in yourself also.”
Interesting concept, huh? We can’t forgive ourselves and sit in judgment of others at the same time. We can’t see the bad in others and expect to see the good in ourselves.
Don’t we all want to see ourselves in a good way? To see ourselves loving, caring and forgiving beings that want to move forward and grow? So many of us struggle to create a positive self-image. We see our faults and weaknesses and not our strengths.
Maybe we need to start by seeing the best in others, to see the best in ourselves.